RePeat
by reyes139
Summary: Six years of wanting…Two, since you held me in your arms and forever burned your touch into my senses, but now here you stand wanting another chance…claiming to have always loved me...asking for a repeat. Nerdy Tattward/Inkella
1. Chapter 1

**So I'm back with a new story…I just couldn't stay away that long. Now before we start and I begin to thank the people that work with my gibberish, I would like to take a minute and explain that no, I am not abandoning my other stories…for this one. In all honesty, I just can't find it in me to write violence at the moment or anything too angsty. **

**Now to begin the thank you's…what can I say, that I haven't said before…my team is an amazing one and I feel incredibly blessed to have each of you in my life. To Steph, Rach, Cheryll…I love you all and couldn't ask for a better bunch of women to work with. Thank You for all the support and encouragement every time a new bunny explodes in my head.**

**A huge THANK YOU and I freaking love you to JA Mash for the fuckawesome banner she made for this story...Babe your work is amazing and I was completely blown away by how perfectly you put together my jumbled thoughts and made them come to life in the work of art you presented to me. She also made wonderful character poster for the blog...thank you girly, you are truly one of a kind.**

**Finally…Twilight aint mine!**

**Chapter 1**

**Prologue**

**Bella's POV**

_I was young but I wasn't naive__  
><em>_I watched helpless as he turned around to leave__  
><em>_And still I have the pain I have to carry__  
><em>_A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried_

_After all this time__  
><em>_I never thought we'd be here__  
><em>_Never thought we'd be here__  
><em>_When my love for you was blind__  
><em>_But I couldn't make you see it__  
><em>_Couldn't make you see it__  
><em>_That I loved you more than you'll ever know__  
><em>_A part of me died when I let you go_

_Lifehouse-Blind_

Today was the dawn of a new day.

The sun outside was rising, bringing with it my resolve and giving me the courage to do what I have failed to do for the past six years.

I needed to learn how to _not_ love you, once and for all.

It was a time for moving on…a time for me to accept my losses, carry on with my life and to try and find the happiness you never gave me, in another mans arms. I have spent the last six years pining away and dreaming that you would see me, the _real_ me, behind all the marks and colors that adorn my flesh.

To see a woman who accepts you for all that you are…never asking for you to change or anything in exchange.

Just the chance to love you and be loved in return.

I'm tired of being nothing more than the woman who signs your paycheck at the end of every work week, only being worthy of your attention during those five measly minutes.

I want you to see a woman who loves you and needs you to breathe…a woman that sees the real _you_, the you that _you_ try so desperately to hide behind that smartass mouth of yours.

The man I see everyday when I walk in and greet the shop is smart, thoughtful, and shy…a man who's passionate about politics and reads comics when no one is watching.

That's the man I love.

That man has starred in every one of my naughty dreams for the last two years after he claimed me and promised to love me forever.

The fateful night that sealed my fate and brought me pain as the next dawn came and you ignored me like all days prior.

Those glorious hours will be forever burned in my mind. The sound of our naked flesh slapping against the other's…lips devouring anything within their reach, the grunts and screams that left our lips as a pleasure so blinding erupted…propelling us head first into a dark abyss of ecstasy and love.

But that day never came…instead I've been left behind, watching as you surround yourself with beautiful women…all wanting a piece of the hot, nerdy bad boy that does amazing tats in my shop.

Too bad for them, and me, you only seem to have eyes for one Tanya Denali and her perfect everything.

I never quite understood her appeal to you…sure, she's pretty in a lab experiment sort of way. I mean…years of tucking, nipping and enhancing have made her into the All American cheerleader/porn star all men want, but I never pegged you for one of those…instead I saw a man who appreciated the culturally shocking and abnormal.

Someone who saw the beauty in ink and not conforming to what society deemed appropriate…guess I was wrong.

So, with my new found purpose and strength, I head to my shower and wash the memories of your lips and flesh on mine from my skin. I mourn what never was and watch it all go down the drain. A sweet and daunting memory to be forgotten, left where it should have always stayed…in the darkest recesses of my mind and never to be found again.

I had a date tonight with someone who's paid more attention to my need for affection and makes me feel as if I'm not invisible. A man who came into my shop with his buddies…laughing and with a genuine smile on his face when he noticed me behind the counter.

His flirting and obvious attraction made me blush…something that's never happened before. It took him nearly two months to get me to agree to see him outside my safe haven, but his patience and silly gifts made me crumble and agree.

Flowers.

Teddy bears.

Even a singing telegram was used to break down the walls Edward put in place, with his indifference.

I felt wanted and desired…something Edward never showed me, except that one night, and that only lasted for just a few hours. Instead, now I received glares and murderous looks every time my new admirer came into my shop, swallowing me up in one of his massive and infamous bear hugs.

Tanya was sweet and courteous to him at every glance…always asking questions and gushing over this sweet man's newest gesture, too bad I can't say the same for Edward.

He was rude, hostile, and not the man I once thought he was…disappointing, but a giver of hope as I prayed his actions meant he cared.

He didn't.

Never said a word…just made it his mission in life to make me feel invisible and small.

Was I not enough…unlovable?

Putting these thoughts of the past behind me, I focus all my attention on a few drawings I needed to complete for this Monday. I had two portraits to finalize for a sweet older couple that was still mourning the loss of their son.

The mother and father of a marine that died at war wanted to commemorate his life in two very similar, yet different pictures of his life.

The father choosing to put his son in full gear on his arm, while the mother chose a picture of his smiling face next to his daughters over her heart…to keep him close.

Hard to accomplish, but doable…especially with the tragic story that lay behind this horrible loss.

I worked for three hours straight, only stopping once for a beer and chips to snack on. The hours passed quickly and before I put the final sketch away, my date called and asked to see me earlier than originally planned.

Agreeing because I truly wanted to see him too, I rushed to my room and began to search my closet for the perfect outfit.

He claimed it was a casual outing…fun and games were all I heard and dressed in a pair of short shorts and a vintage Guns &Roses tee. My old green chucks came in handy and looked perfect with my low key outfit.

My hair was pulled in a high pony tail, while my bangs swept off to the side showing off my eyebrow piercing. Changing out my nose stud to a small green stone completed my look.

I never wore too much make up and kept it natural with liner and Chap Stick…the Florida weather too humid for anything more.

He arrived shortly after and whisked me away for a day of fun in the sun and laughter. Universal Studios was one of my favorite places to let loose and remember how to be a kid again.

We rode everything twice and ate like pigs…best date I've truly ever had thus far.

Dropping me at home around eleven o'clock with a small kiss and a promise of another date soon, he walked away and I entered my apartment.

We both wished it wouldn't have ended so soon, but I had to be up early for the two emotional pieces I had scheduled.

I had just changed into my usual night attire of a tank top and boxers when there was a sudden knock at my door. Rushing over, I pulled the door open and was shocked to see someone who wasn't my date standing with a look of pure, unadulterated pain in his eyes.

"Edward," I choked out as the shock of seeing him here left me barely able to breathe.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Asking for a repeat and a chance to love you as you've always deserved," was his sincere response and my whole world and what I knew to be fact…flipped upside down without my permission.

**I know this was a bit vague, but all the answers will come out in later chapters. We will be revisiting all the key points that led Edward to her door this night of all nights**.

**This story will post once a week until I am completely done writing it…after I will bump it up to two or three a week…cross your fingers and hope I finish quickly.**

**See u next week…now leave me some sugar!**

**Massy**


	2. Chapter 2

**I want to start off today with a thank you to all my readers… you guys are truly amazing and the best in this entire fandom. I was humbled and blown away with the response you guys had to the prologue and now I'm even more excited to continue this ride along each and every one of you.**

**The only thing that I will give away is that not everything is as it seems…keep your eyes open and see beyond what is presented at all times.**

**Now to begin with my team…what can I say, that I haven't said before…my team is an amazing one and I feel incredibly blessed to have each of you in my life. To Steph, Rach, Cheryll…I love you all and couldn't ask for a better bunch of women to work with. Thank You for all the support and encouragement every time a new bunny explodes in my head.**

**Finally…Twilight aint mine!**

Chapter 1

Bella's POV

_Today was gonna be the day, but they'll never throw it back to you__  
><em>_By now, you should've somehow realized what you're not to do__  
><em>_I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

_And all the roads that lead you there were winding__  
><em>_And all the lights that light the way are blinding__  
><em>_There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don't know how_

_I said maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me__  
><em>_And after all, you're my wonderwall__  
><em>_I said maybe (I said maybe) you're gonna be the one that saves me__  
><em>_And after all, you're my wonderwall_

_Wonderwall by Oasis_

_**Six years prior... **_

"You ready Twinkle Toes?" asked my always best friend/ex-boyfriend, Demmy.

Demetri and I met on the school yard at the age of six, when my parents decided to leave the rain and all around green ambiance of Forks. They were tired of the never ending cloudy days and pale complexions that came with it.

They wanted me to grow up someplace warm...with never ending days of sunshine and beaches. They decided on a smaller city right next to Orlando, Florida.

Kissimmee became our home within months and we've never looked back.

We're dead smack in the middle of the state, but only an hour away from multiple beach destinations. Daytona is beautiful and bike week is a blast...

That's the one thing me and daddy still do every year.

All theme parks are fifteen minutes from my house and we wouldn't have it any other way...well, the one thing we do try to escape is the shoobie's destination.

All except the theme parks, that is.

Certain shops and restaurants are nearly impossible to get into, with the amount of visitors we receive every year.

Okay now back to Demetri...

We met on the first day of school...Kissimmee Elementary was considered small compared to others we had seen. My mother loved the smaller classes, the one on one they promised and how attentive the staff was.

_I noticed him the moment I walked in, but not for what you're all thinking._

_He was being shoved around by two boys and a girl._

_The boys looked to be a year older than him, but the girl was definitely younger. _

_He was your typical nerd...glasses, pocket protector, pants too small._

_He looked afraid and for some reason that really bothered me._

_My mother was still too busy speaking to the school nurse about my migraines and how to proceed if a severe one were to hit while I was here._

_"Leave him the fuck alone," I spat and the two boys chuckled._

_"Awww," the chunky one said, "Does Demmy have a girlfriend?"_

_I didn't appreciate the condescending tone and let him know, with my fist as I smashed in his nose._

_"Wanna mess with me again Chuckles?" The boy glared at me while his accomplices laughed and pointed at him._

_"Whoa there, Twinkle Toes," the boy I properly named 'shaggy' with the mop of blond curls said…little did I know that name would stick with me for the rest of our lives._

_"We were just messing with our pal here...no need for the violence." He claimed while the little girl stood off to the side smirking, but not saying a word. _

'_Better not' I thought while giving them my best toothy and innocent smile._

_"Well, quit beating on him or else...my daddy taught me how to hit the boys where it hurts." Both boys quickly held their hands over their nuts and I couldn't help but laugh. _

_Works every single time._

_"What's your name?" the girl asked while twirling a long strand of blonde hair through her fingers._

_"Bella...you?"_

_"Well…I'm Rosalie, but call me Rosie…okay?" I nodded in understanding and she turned to immediately point at her other two associates. "The one you called 'chuckles', which fits him by the way, is Emmett and 'shaggy' is Jasper."_

_"Well nice to meet ya, but stop being mean to him," I signaled with my head over to the boy who was still shocked and laying on the ground, looking up._

_I couldn't believe he was still so amazed…jeez!_

_I offered him my hand to stand, which he quickly took...he smiled at me as he dusted himself off and that was it…that one genuine smile was all it took._

_We became the best of friends that day...along with the other trio that was completely infatuated with the new girl who could kick ass, ninja style._

_Best first day ever._

"Well, are ya?" Demmy poked my side, causing me to giggle.

"You know I am...this is our dream come true." His warm arms wrapped themselves around me.

"I know it is," he whispered into my hair. "We've worked our asses off to get to this point...and what makes it better is having the whole crew in on it."

So true...they all worked as hard as me and Demmy to own their art and purpose in the company. Years of apprenticeships, schooling, health classes...anything and everything we could think off to round all of our bases.

We might be the owners, but they are the glue that keeps us together.

Rosie, or Bratz as I call her, took business management classes with me, in order to help and step in if I became unavailable. Jasper is our computer genius and his web design course helps us with our blogs, website and all around promotions.

Chuckles is our meat head and resident contractor, along with being an artist. He took it upon himself to rebuild and take over all remodeling we needed. He was certified by the state as a general contractor and took care of any and all permits that we needed, now or in the future.

Because of his diligence we had everything up to code and even impressed the inspectors that came in to make sure we had everything right.

We all did tats while Rose specialized in piercings...we were a well oiled machine.

We only had one person outside of our inner circle working for us.

He was friends with Emmett and Jasper...they met him while attending a party and became fast friends. Everyone, including Demmy, spoke highly of him and how talented he was with a gun.

His black and whites were drool worthy and something I definitely wanted in my shop.

I hadn't met him as of yet, but he should be here for our meeting this afternoon.

This meeting was just to take a moment and breathe. Enjoy the moment so to speak.

We all know our shit and don't need to go over a thing...just celebrate what's about to happen.

A throat cleared behind us and Demmy pulled us around to meet the throat clearer. Problem was that what stood before me was causing me to choke and leaving me in need to clear my own throat.

"Edward, my man!" They did that man hugging thing and shook hands. I had not said a single word to the stranger as my eyes were too busy to let my mouth formulate words.

He was tall...probably about 6'3", broad shoulders, long and lean, but with definite muscle definition. His jaw was sharp and lickable...pouty lips adorned his face…lips I became desperate to nibble on, and the greenest pair of eyes I've ever seen hidden behind a pair of thick, black nerdy glasses.

He even wore an old pair of suspenders; hanging from his low slung jeans…I was fucked.

"...and this is Bella, my partner." He extended his hands towards me and the moment our hands touched my entire world flipped. Electricity flowed between us and I felt lightheaded.

Edward pulled his hand back as if he'd been burned, but never took his eyes off my face. I could tell he was searching for an explanation or a why. He felt that surge too...it was beyond anything I had ever experienced before.

The rest of the gang showed up and a celebratory shot was passed around.

The cool liquid burned going down...my muscles lost their tenseness and my mouth finally cooperated with me and let me speak to the hot nerd before me.

"Welcome to Tiger Tattoos, Edward..."_ today is the start of the rest of our_ _lives_, I added mentally.

**Okay so now its time for a quick age recap…**

**Ages in the prologue:**

**Bella or Twinkle Toes is 30**

**Rose or Bratz is 30**

**Demetry or Demmy is 30**

**Jasper or Shaggy is 31**

**Emmett or Chuckles is 32**

**Edward is 32**

**Bella was 24 when they began this endeavor and met Edward. The gang has been together since elementary school. They are a tight knit group and don't take to kindly to any outsiders…except a certain few you will be meeting in the near future…okay that is all for now!**

**Come hang with the rest of my kooky fam on Face book…The groups name is Massy's Minions and my name is Reyes one-three nine. Also check out my blog Reyes139(dot)blogspot(dot)come for future teasers and pics…see you next update!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to start off today with a thank you to all my readers… you guys are truly amazing and the best in this entire fandom. I was humbled and blown away with the response you guys had to the last two chapters and now I'm even more excited to continue this ride along each and every one of you.**

**The only thing that I will give away, is that not everything is as it seems…keep your eyes open and see beyond what is presented at all times.**

**Now to begin with my team…what can I say, that I haven't said before…my team is an amazing one and I feel incredibly blessed to have each of you in my life. To Steph, Rach, Cheryll…I love you all and couldn't ask for a better bunch of women to work with. Thank You for all the support and encouragement every time a new bunny explodes in my head.**

**A huge THANK YOU and I freaking love you to JA Mash for the fuckawesome banner she made for this story...Babe, your work is amazing and I was completely blown away by how perfectly you put together my jumbled thoughts. You made them come to life in the work of art you presented to me. She also made wonderful character poster for the blog...thank you girly, you are truly one of a kind.**

**As always Twilight aint mine…**

Chapter 2

Bella's POV

_Breath in__Breathe__out __  
><em>_Tell me all of your doubt __  
><em>_If everybody bleeds this way __  
><em>_just the same __  
><em>_Breath in breathe out __  
><em>_Move on and break down __  
><em>_If everyone.. goes away __  
><em>_I will stay __  
><em>_We push and pull, __  
><em>_and I fall down sometimes __  
><em>_I'm not letting go, __  
><em>_you hold the other line __  
><em>_  
><em>_Cause there is a light __  
><em>_In your eyes, in your eyes __  
><em>_Hold on, hold tight __  
><em>_From out of your sight __  
><em>_Everything keeps moving on, moving on, __  
><em>_Hold on hold tight __  
><em>_Make it throught another night __  
><em>_Everyday there comes the sun with the dawn _

_Breathe In Breathe Out by Matt Kearney_

The shop was an instant hit amongst its locals and those shoobies wanting to add a li'l somethin' _somethin_'extra to their vacation. We mainly took in appointments, but tried our best to work around those only in town for a few days.

Shaggy made sure to keep his schedule mostly available to walk-ins…Thus making us amiable to everyone's needs and causing word of mouth to spread like wildfire.

Some would think this would hurt his pockets at the end of each day, but it had the opposite affect actually. People loved his work and after looking through his books...usually offered a hefty sum to have a Jasper original on their bodies.

Especially all the ink groupies, coming through our doors hoping to land one of our four very single and very hot artists…they came droves, looking for a chance to entice their senses and ignite their desires with their very orange bodies.

With Shaggy's abstract work, Chuckles' religious art and my portraits, we had a vast expanse of specialties to compete and take anyone down.

Demmy loved to work free hand and Edward, like me, did portraits, but only in black and white...no color added anywhere...those were his rules.

We quickly became the shop to beat in every sense of the word.

Our location was a central part in that...we were right off the main road and no matter where you were headed in this town, you passed by our doors.

We prided ourselves in keeping our customer service above everyone else's standards and our mad inking skills left plenty in the dust.

Poor Rose was so run down within the first month that we had to hire an assistant for her...someone to take care of all our bookings, paperwork (such as waivers) and all forms of payments.

Alice was a godsend and quickly the object of all of Shaggy's attention.

They were adorable in an 'I'll kick your ass if you fuck with us' sort of way...

Today, just like any other day, I walked into Tiger Tattoos through the back entrance. Music was blasting through the speakers, customers were chatting up our resident Aly B. and Demmy was having a talk with Lionel in his office.

The last one caught my attention quickly.

Edward, or Lionel as I've dubbed him, was standing in Demmy's doorway, rubbing the back of his neck and speaking in hushed tones.

"So are you two dating?" I could tell he was uncomfortable with asking, but his need to know was greater than any discomfort he held.

"Am I dating who, Edward?"

"Miss Swan," he said.

"No...we're not. Why, you interested?" His tone changed from friendly and jovial to overprotective big brother.

I prayed that the fool wouldn't warn him away from me.

"Fuck no," Edward exclaimed with a sarcastic laugh, "she's not my type...at all. I was just wondering since you're both so close and I had a client ask if she was single...my curiosity was peaked...nothing more or nothing less."

My entire being sagged.

"We did once...a while back," Demmy said, not offering anything more.

"What happened?" Lionel inquired.

"Not that it's any of your business Edward, but we just don't have those sort of 'feelings' towards each other...she's my best friend and I'm hers...and we want to keep it that way."

Lionel nodded and turned to leave, but not before seeing me standing there...across from Demmy's office...listening to him say I wasn't his type.

His eyes became wide and he let out a nervous chuckle...something he did often when uncomfortable.

"How about less bashing me and more working Edward," I spat. He looked sorry and properly chastised, but my feelings were hurt and even if he did apologize, it wouldn't mean shit.

The damage was done and I knew his true feelings towards me…

I wasn't his type...I wasn't enough to catch his eye.

The next three months after that uncomfortable hallway talk, he avoided me like the plague. He went as far as not asking for his check for a full month.

It was getting ridiculous and it was time to nip this shit in the bud…for fucks sake, we worked together and had to see and deal with each other on a daily basis.

Either he had to get over his issues or he couldn't continue with us at the shop. As much as that would hurt me…this just wasn't working out.

It was late on a Friday evening when I had had enough of his shit and called him into my office.

"What the hell is your problem with me, Lio...I mean, Edward?" His eyebrow rose at my slip and a small smirk planted itself on his lips.

"What were you about to call me?"

Damn you, _you_ sexy fucker, for the panty destroying smirk you threw my way.

"That's not the point here Edward...the_ point_ of why I dragged you back here is to find out what's your deal. I mean, obviously you dislike me and don't feel at ease in my presence. Maybe this arrangement isn't going to work out..." I trailed off and let my words hang in the air.

The ball was in his court now.

"Whoa, Miss Swan...I love working here and don't want to go anywhere else." His answer at least told me he was happy here, just not around me.

"Cut the Miss Swan bullshit please...the name's Bella...okay?" He nodded but didn't look pleased. "Edward, I'm one of the owners here...you refuse to speak to me and have gone as far as not collecting your check for an entire month...how else do you want me to take that?"

"I just wanted to keep things professional since, as you stated, you are an owner…" My glare cut him off right there.

"Really? Cause you hang with and treat Demetri as if you two were the best of friends...not boss/employee!" My hand smacked my table hard...not only was he lying, but he was treating me as if I were stupid.

"Well yeah, he's one of the guys...its different!" he yelled back.

"How in the blue fuck do you expect me to swallow this load of bullshit you're trying to feed me? Should I act stupid or just ignore the obvious disdain you have for me...yet you work for me." Our bodies had gravitated towards the other and our noses were almost touching.

His breathing was harsh and his eyes spat fire...truly my Lionel at his finest.

"I don't hate you," he gritted out and slammed his lips onto mine. His arms practically pulled and carried me over my desk and onto his lap. There, sitting in a chair across my desk, we made out like a pair of teenagers who had never been kissed before.

Teeth clashing.

Tongues battling.

Bodies grinding.

His growls and my mewls of pleasure orchestrated the most beautiful melody ever heard. My legs hung over each of his and my core danced over his hard and impressive girth.

He felt so good...so right.

"Fuck, I've wanted to do that for so long," he growled while nipping my jaw. My body ground onto him harder as those words left his lips.

"Me too...fuck, I've always wanted you," I barely managed to get that out, before the most fucked up thing happened.

"Hey Bells, we're heading out to grab some grub...can you stop molesting Lionel and hurry up?" I was going to kill Chuckles.

Edward became stiff and practically pushed me off his lap.

His entire face was red and his eyes began looking anywhere, but at me. Grabbing his checks from my desk he mumbled a low 'fuck' and ran out.

Leaving me there…on the floor, flushed and embarrassed.

Straightening my clothes and hair so I didn't look the mess I was on the inside, I walked out...smacking Chuckles in the head and leaving without another word.

Demmy and Rose tried to stop me and see what was wrong, but I couldn't handle their concern for me at that moment. Unlocking my truck, I hopped into the cab and sped off before they could both reach my door handle.

My phone continued to blow up during the evening, but I avoided them all...thankfully they got the point after I answered and said, "For fucks sake, leave me alone." Hanging up immediately after my snap...never looking to see who it was or even really care.

That night I replayed, on repeat, the feel of his lips on mine and the tingle left behind. The way our bodies molded to the other's and the animalistic look in his eyes as my cloth covered core rubbed along his length.

He was my Lionel...just not in real life.

The following morning I arrived early and sped towards my office before my vultures descended. Luckily for me, everyone was booked solid till around two and I had time to come up with what to say.

It wasn't til Edward called out to the shop that he was going to the little cafe a block down, that I realized we were back to avoiding Bella again.

He went from station to station getting orders...everyone's, but mine.

Once again I was invisible and not worthy...fuck my life.

I truly wish I had a repeat button.

**Ages on the prologue:**

**Bella or Twinkle Toes is 30**

**Rose or Bratz is 30**

**Demetry or Demmy is 30**

**Jasper or Shaggy is 31**

**Emmett or Chuckles is 32**

**Edward is 32**

**Alice or Ally B. is 28 **

**Happy Easter guys…hope everyone has an awesome weekend with family and friends or how ever you decide to celebrate…now leave me some sugar!**

**See you next week…**

**Massy**


	4. Chapter 4

**I want to start off today with a thank you to all my readers… you guys are truly amazing and the best in this entire fandom. I was humbled and blown away with the response you guys had to the last two chapters and now I'm even more excited to continue this ride along each and every one of you.**

**The only thing that I will give away, is that not everything is as it seems…keep your eyes open and see beyond what is presented at all times.**

**Now to begin with my team…what can I say, that I haven't said before…my team is an amazing one and I feel incredibly blessed to have each of you in my life. To Steph, Rach, Cheryll…I love you all and couldn't ask for a better bunch of women to work with. Thank You for all the support and encouragement every time a new bunny explodes in my head.**

**A huge THANK YOU and I freaking love you to JA Mash for the fuckawesome banner she made for this story...Babe, your work is amazing and I was completely blown away by how perfectly you put together my jumbled thoughts. You made them come to life in the work of art you presented to me. She also made wonderful character poster for the blog...thank you girly, you are truly one of a kind.**

**As always Twilight aint mine…**

**Chapter 3**

**Bella's POV**

_I may appear to be free__  
><em>_But I'm just a prisoner of your love__  
><em>_And I may seem all right and smile when you leave__  
><em>_But my smiles are just a front__  
><em>_Just a front, hey__  
><em>_I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you__  
><em>_I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning_

_I try to say goodbye and I choke__  
><em>_Try to walk away and I stumble__  
><em>_Though I try to hide it, it's clear__  
><em>_My world crumbles when you are not near__  
><em>_Goodbye and I choke__  
><em>_I try to walk away and I stumble__  
><em>_Though I try to hide it, it's clear__  
><em>_My world crumbles when you are not near_

_Here is my confession__  
><em>_May I be your possession__  
><em>_Boy, I need your touch__  
><em>_Your love kisses and such__  
><em>_With all my might I try__  
><em>_But this I can't deny__  
><em>_Deny_

_I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you__  
><em>_(but I'm dreaming of you babe)__  
><em>_I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning_

_I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)__  
><em>_Try to walk away and I stumble__  
><em>_Though I try to hide it, it's clear__  
><em>_My world crumbles when you are not near_

_I Try by Macy Gray _

Everything remained the same over the next two years, no change in attitude, treatment or social interactions.

My Lionel went out of his way to excuse himself from any and every outing I was involved in…the only time where he was truly fucked and stuck around was in the Annual Tiger Tattoo's customer and employee cookout we held out in Clear Water, Florida.

Chuckles enjoyed manning the grill and flirting with our dear Rose at every turn…innuendos about meat size and handling were spread throughout all in attendance…well, everyone but Edward.

The second year we did this he attended solo and stuck by the boys until a skanky blonde named Jane caught his eye. She couldn't have been more my opposite if she tried. Long, platinum, blonde hair…a skinny body with no absolutely no chest and an ironing board type of ass…completely flat.

She truly had a young boy's body.

Her makeup was exaggerated with heavy eyeliner and dark lipstick…her swimsuit left nothing to the imagination…yet he spent every moment by her side.

Laughing.

Playing.

Hanging on her every word.

I felt ill as I watched him fawn all over her.

"You know it's all fake, right?" Ally B. said.

"Doesn't look that way to me…he looks quite taken and impressed with her vast knowledge of the best spots to fuck and roll a quick spliffy on this beach."

Ally rolled her eyes at me and told me to be patient with his and I quote…

'_Stubborn and insecure ass.'_

The evening progressed in much the same manner…him fawning all over her, _her_ eating it up and me trying to keep my ire in check.

I was so frustrated with the resent turn of events that I decided to bow out early. Gathering the few belongings I brought, I headed over to the gang…suddenly two strange and strong hands grabbed me around my waist and pulled me towards the water.

Seems I was completely oblivious to the game of chicken being held within the attendants.

One of my very first customers, and someone who I flirted with from time to time, pulled me above their shoulders and situated me for the next round.

"Amun," I said while giggling.

His strong and broad shoulders held me in place, while he ran the tips of his fingers in slow soothing circles on my thighs.

"Hush now, pretty one…let me enjoy this moment and the ass whooping we're about to unleash on poor, blind Edward and his flavor of skank…Jane." My eyes snapped up from his soulful browns and snapped to the glaring one's of my green eyed lion.

To say he was furious would be putting it mildly.

Nostrils flared.

His grip on Jane was strong and the poor girl winced in pain.

His eyes stared me down and made me uncomfortable yet I became excited at the prospect that maybe…just maybe…the vision of another touching me made him jealous.

Chuckles acted as ref and made a _ding, ding, ding_ noise with his mouth…alerting us to fight it out.

They came after us strong but Jane had no strength behind her pushes and strained to get me down. It took a simple shove and shoulder check from Amun for them both to go down.

"Whoop, _Whoop_ pretty one…we kicked ass and showed these fools whose boss around here." His excitement was contagious and I leapt into his arms, letting him twirl me around in celebration.

He truly was a nice guy and so easy on the eyes.

His Middle Eastern heritage made his dark, tanned skin and jet black hair stand out in a crowd. His tats were all on his back and chest…not visible to an outsider, but open for those he allowed close.

"So now that we are the winning team, a pair made in chicken heaven…so to speak… how about you let me take you out on a date tomorrow?" I gasped at his invitation. While I found him extremely attractive, never did I believe he was interested.

"Let's see," I answered vaguely and he gave me a sad smile.

"Some day pretty one, I will wear you down and you shall be mine." He placed a tender kiss on my cheek, causing my breath to hitch and an angry growl to explode.

Amun said goodnight shortly after that and I was left with only Edward around. Seems his Janey had left with her off and on again boyfriend, James. Poor dude didn't know the kind of girl she truly was…too blinded by his feelings for her.

"Can't handle me Edward?" I taunted but his cold stare and sneer quickly silenced my innocent tries at boasting.

The whole day had left a sour taste in my mouth and at this point I just wasn't in the mood to deal with his dislike for me. My intent had been to walk away and just let him stir in his foul mood on his own. I guess intentions are great, but not when dealing with the inconsistencies of what he wants, or doesn't want, in my case.

His large fingers wrapped themselves around my tiny wrist…harshly tugging me into his chest and confusing me all the more. His mouth was exhaling harshly against my neck; marking me with his scent and making my body recline limply against his.

"What the hell were you trying to pull Miss Swan?" he said snidely and I gulped.

His lips ghosted softly against the tender flesh behind my ear. I was putty in his hands and he knew this…I tried with all my might to contain the tremble my body wanted to release, but couldn't. Edward felt so right holding me tightly to his body, not letting an ounce of space between us as he made me his, without a single intimate touch.

"I watched you with him you know…watched you laugh and relax around his hulking form." A small bite to my ear caused me to let out a loud moan. "He seems smitten with you…too bad he's not the one you want…is he?"

His lips were so close to mine now…I wanted to simply lean forward and kiss the man stupid.

I leaned in an inch closer and that's when the smell of beer hit me. It was faint and hidden behind the strong smell of mint, but it was there nonetheless.

Is that why he allowed himself this closeness to me?

Or was it because no one else was around?

"Stop over thinking this, pretty one…" And that's when it all clicked, fucker was jealous. He wasn't about to admit it or let himself give in…no, he wanted to make me pay for his indifference towards me.

"Get off me now, Edward!" I screamed and he backed away…looking equal parts confused and agitated. Not giving him a chance to take my will once again…I ran over to my car…got in and sped off.

Fuck the towel and cooler I left behind.

Fuck the want in his eyes and mine.

I needed to save myself, because come tomorrow, I knew he would forget and make me hurt.

I was so sick and tired of feeling insecure…something I'd never been before.

Maybe it was time for me to date again…it had been two years since my last boyfriend or fuck…my poor B.O.B. was in desperate need of a vacation.

I made it home safely and just collapsed on my bed.

Tomorrow was a new day…I hoped.

***Hides behind brick wall***

**All I will say is keep an open mind and not everything is as it seems...coming up****, we hear from our dear beloved Lionel!**

**See you next week!**

**Massy**


	5. Chapter 5

**Early update this week cause the twifey wants it…so thank her!**

**As usual Twilight isn't mine, even though I wish Edward Cullen was mine with all my pervy heart.**

**Thanks to my team…you girls rule and are some of the most talented writers, I have ever met. Thank you for making my gibberish look good and always giving me encouragement when I desperately need it.**

Chapter 4

Edward's POV

_What I really wanna know,__  
><em>_my baby, what I really want to say I can't define.__  
><em>_Well it's love,__  
><em>_that I need, oh ,__  
><em>_but my soul will have to,__  
><em>_wait till I get back find heina of my own.__  
><em>_Daddy's gonna love one and all._

_I feel the break,__  
><em>_feel the break,__  
><em>_feel the break and I got live it out,__  
><em>_oh, yea huh, well I swear that I.__  
><em>_What I really wanna know, my baby,__  
><em>_what I really want to say I can't define.__  
><em>_Got love! make it go,__  
><em>_my soul will have to..._

_ohhh What I really wanna say,__  
><em>_my baby,__  
><em>_What I really wanna say is I've got mine.__  
><em>_and I'll make it, Yes, I'm comin' up._

_Tell sanchito that if he knows what is good for him he best go run and hide.__  
><em>_Daddy's got a new .45.__  
><em>_and I won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down sancho's throat.__  
><em>_Believe me when I say that I got somethin for his punk ass.__  
><em>_What I really wanna know, my baby,__  
><em>_oh what I really wanna say is there's just one,__  
><em>_way back,__  
><em>_and I'll make it, yea,__  
><em>_but my soul will have to wait.__  
><em>_yea, yea, yea_

_Santeria by Sublime_

My life was simple and completely uncomplicated before I came to work for Demetri and the hot piece of ass that owned Tiger Tattoos, along with him.

Isabella Marie 'fuck me' Swan is her name and destroying everything I've built up over the years is her game.

Before meeting her, I was content with being single and playing the field on occasion. I was a never a man whore, nor did I go out with my buddies prowling the streets of Miami.

Sure, the exotic beauties that roamed the streets turned my head, but they never made me look twice. They were superficial and only looking for a quick fuck...while most men live for that type of opportunity, I don't.

I'm a loner at heart and nerd by night.

So when presented with the opportunity to move back after being away for two years...I jumped without looking. Emmett, Jasper and Demetri were good guys and we had maintained our friendship, even after I moved away to work in another shop by the beach.

The opportunity had been great, but I missed Kissimmee and the less hectic city life there. Life was still busy and with the comforts of the city...yet it felt less hectic to me.

My everyday life never revolved around bars or clubs...I was more low key.

I liked my comics and attending launch parties for the hottest gaming releases. I'm an opinionated democrat and can't make it through the day without Keith Olbermann telling me how it is. I keep up with my current affairs...something most people would never believe because of the way I look or my chosen profession.

Tattoos were my life before her, but now, not even the hum of the gun in my hand could take away the image of how gorgeous she looked at the beach a few days ago.

Tiny white bikini.

Sun bouncing off her tanned skin, and the ink on her arms calling to me.

I wanted to spend hours exploring each and every one with my tongue.

I was so close to finally having enough courage to approach and talk to her...to make my move and tell her how I truly felt, when that ass wipe suddenly stepped in and hogged her attention for the remainder of the day.

Sure, I'm not innocent and trying to make her jealous by paying attention to my brother's girl...didn't help.

James asked me to keep an eye on her and to make sure she stayed out of trouble.

Trouble equaling drugs for her...

Some might think he's stupid for staying with her, but she wasn't always this way...she was bright and sweet, and with a full scholarship to study at the University of Miami School of Medicine, she had a lot of potential in her future.

Her dream has always been to be an oncologist...to help people.

Too bad for her and my brother, her parent's death broke her in half and her only escape became doing lines in seedy parts of town. This was the first time in three years where she was actually clean and trying to stay that way.

"You don't have to keep babysitting me you know?" I did know, but I wouldn't leave her side.

"Sorry Janey," I pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear, "I promised Jay and I'm keeping my promise...he'll be here as soon as his shift at the fire station is through...okay. Now humor me and eat another burger...you could use a few extra pounds." She scoffed at my words then proceeded to push me down on my ass.

Her giggles rang loudly as I chased her up and down the sand...those same giggles quickly morphed into shrieks as I none too gently tossed her over my shoulder and began running straight towards the warm waters.

I dove in; tossing her over my head and loving to see the old girl I grew up with coming back. With all the shit she's put Jay and everyone else through...she's never lost herself or that wicked sense of humor she shared with her parents.

"I'm going to kill you four eyes," she spat while giving me the universal 'I'm watching you,' sign.

"Whatcha gonna do, Janey?" She laughed loudly and began searching through the crowd for something...someone. Her big blue eyes continued searching until she found what she was looking for… thus making a wicked smile appear before my non trusting eyes.

"Well," she began, "how would your Bella feel about me declaring your feelings for you?"

My eyes turned to slits and my growl was loud.

"Don't you fucking dare," I said though clenched teeth, "I'm fucking working on it and I'll be damned if anyone fucks this up for me...I just need a bit more time...just a few days to work myself up."

"You're a fucking moron..."

"Why?" I interrupted.

"Look over to where she is and you'll see the 'why'." Sure enough, there she was watching us and our close proximity. Bella didn't know that we were just friends, nor was she aware that she was my brother's girl...she only saw me sitting close and spending every available minute with this girl.

Bella looked pissed, or was that hurt?

Could she be jealous? Fuck, if she is this could work for me and my plan to draw her in. My confidence would definitely grow and maybe...just maybe my resolve to speed this up would break through my walls.

She was just so...

Beautiful.

Caring.

Sexy.

Intelligent.

I could go on forever...

The hours passed and with it my confidence grew...well, up until that meat head Amun showed up and touched what was mine.

His sweaty paws hugging her and gushing over her every word...he was smitten with her, a blind man could see that.

Her smile was blinding as they spoke and everything I had suddenly built up in my head…crumbled.

I couldn't compete with a man like him...secure and not afraid to make a fool of themselves to get their girl.

"She likes you too…you know," said the voice of my close and her best friend, Rose.

I scoffed at the absurdity of the statement and got up; ready to leave...I didn't need their pity or lies.

"Look, Edward." Her pleading tone stopped me dead in my tracks…I didn't turn back around, but I did hear her out. "I'm not going to say being with her will be easy…she's beautiful inside and out. Men are drawn to her, but she doesn't want them...to her there is no one else. That girl only has eyes for you and you alone. Quit being a dick and make your move before you completely lose her." Her pat on my back signaled her exit, but it didn't quell the new feelings running rampant through my head.

Could it be true?

I was left speechless and with a thousand new questions floating through my head.

The rest of the evening, I became a bit withdrawn. My focus was solely on watching as tall and stupid drooled all over my girl. I needed to get her closer. Within my reach.

"Let's play chicken, Lionel," Ally proposed and I looked at her funny.

"Why does everyone keep slipping and calling me that?"

"Twinkle claims you remind her of Lionel, from Thunder Cats...claims you have a sexy mane and hot body..."

"Are you telling me she had, or has, the hots for a cartoon character?" She shrugged and walked away, but not before telling me that he was a badass cartoon and hot in her opinion.

Throwing my head back I laughed...hard.

"Should I find one for her too...I mean she's given me quite the name to live up to."

"Wouldn't surprise me if you did...now hurry the fuck up, we want to kick some ass!"

"We...whose we?"

"Me and Shaggy of course." Rolling her eyes, she skipped on over to him and whispered in his ear. Jasper's eyes flashed to mine and a chuckle escaped.

I feel like I'm being set up here.

The first few matches were quick with me and Janey in the lead...no one wanted to go against this Lionel and his sidekick.

That is until my girl decided to play and with none other than Amun following behind.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, watching his meaty paws lift her over his shoulders and his hands running up and down her calves. The gesture looked loving...I wanted to put his hands in a meat grinder and feed the end product to a stray.

"Ready to do this?" she asked him and his grunt was all he gave before we squared off.

Bella was ruthless with Jane, but Jane took it like a champ. She was aware that Bella thought we were together and that I was the idiot that led her to believe it without correcting her.

Not my brightest hour.

Jane went down...taking me with her.

Amun spun her around in victory and my blood boiled.

I walked away before I said something I would regret later and began to chug down whatever I could find. I remember Jay coming and taking his girl home and offering to come back and pick me up if needed.

I turned him down and sat down on a recently vacated chair across from my girl and her admirer.

He began to ask her out on a date...

I wanted to hurl.

He sighed as she said no and vowed to woo her and break down her resolve.

I wanted to punch his lights out.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he departed and I moved from my perch. My feet never asking permission to move...they just knew I needed to breathe her in. My mind was coming up with different ways to explain today and what occurred.

Too bad for me and my one chance, that my mouth and head were having a tiff at the moment, because what came out next was my burial.

"What the fuck were you trying to pull Miss Swan?"

**See, have faith in me folks…I told you not everything will be as it seems.**

**Now leave me some sugar and I will see you all next week!**

**Massy **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks to my team…you girls rule and are some of the most talented writers, I have ever met. Thank you for making my gibberish look good and always giving me encouragement when I desperately need it.**

**As usual Twilight isn't mine, even though I wish Edward Cullen was mine with all my pervy heart.**

**Chapter 5 **

**Bella's POV**

_Waking up to find another day  
>The moon got lost again last night<br>But now the sun has finally had its say  
>I guess I feel alright<em>

_But it hurts when I think_  
><em>When I let it sink in<em>  
><em>It's all over me<em>  
><em>I'm lying here in the dark<em>  
><em>I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot<em>  
><em>&amp; all I know is<em>  
><em>You've got to give me everything<em>  
><em>Nothing less cause<em>  
><em>You know I give you all of me<em>

_I give you everything that I am_

_I'm handin' in everything that I've got  
>Cause I wanna have a really true love<br>Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up  
>Stay up till Four In The Morning &amp; the tears are pouring<br>& I want to make it worth the fight  
>What have we been doing for all this time?<br>Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right_

_4 In The Mornin by Gwen Stefani_

The shop was closed the following day after the successful yet heartbreaking cookout we had at the beach. The staff was in no condition to work and getting me out of bed before 2p.m. would have insured a mass slaughter of any and everyone I encountered before my designated alarm.

Throughout the day I spoke to Rose and filled her in on the disastrous events that occurred after the chicken fight. While I felt horrible over the fact that he approached me only because he was drunk and Jane had left his ass…she thought quite the opposite.

"Bella," she said in a sing song voice. "My poor, blind, and hard headed, Bella…don't you see that he's intimidated by you. That maybe…just maybe… the booze gave him the added push and nonexistent filter he needed to say what he truly never could while sober."

Hmmm, her theory had merit, but what if she was wrong?

"Okaaaay," I said in my incredulous tone, "so let me get this right…you think that A) the boy is intimidated by me and B) the only way he'll feel comfortable enough to get close is by having some liquid courage in his system?"

"Ding, Ding, Ding…we have a winner folks," her sarcastic voice rang out.

"Fuck you, Bratz…I'm serious here and you're busy fucking around."

"Look B…don't sweat this…he needs time to see that you won't wait forever and a day. You, my see through friend, need to dedicate yourself into not salivating over his every move. I say date…have fun, stop waiting on him to make that move, it will happen the day he gets his nerdy head out of his ass."

"You're right," I whispered and explained my recent revelations about not wanting to wait anymore. I mean, come on…I was 26 and in my prime.

I exercised, ate right, and took care of myself.

Independence was my middle name and men loved that about me…

I owned my own business and my home…I wasn't looking to be kept or to keep another.

I liked my freedom and respected every one else's…

"Good…now come out with me tonight…just us girls. We can head on over to Hush Ultra Lounge around ten and hang out. Just me, you and Ally…what'd ya say?"

"I'm down…come by around 8p.m. and we'll get ready together babe."

So with plans set in motion and my new outlook on my dating 'life', I was ready to let my hair down, dress to kill, get my drink on and possibly meet someone new.

The rest of my day progressed rather slowly, as I tried in vain to catch up on some of this month's financials. My head was still hurting a bit from over thinking and the few tears I had let out onto my pillow last night.

Both girls arrived around seven with take out and a bottle of wine to get us in the zone. We joked, laughed, and took turns calling the three stooges better known as Chuckles, Shaggy and Demmy. The boys were having serious withdrawal issues and did not appreciate being left behind while we enjoyed a night out.

Ally decided on a two toned Maxi dress that reached mid-thigh. The top portion, which ended directly beneath her bust line, was a rich taupe color, while the rest was black. She paired it with a simple pair of sling backs…chunky bangles, hoop earrings and bright red lips. Her hair was placed in a low ponytail swept over her shoulder…she looked gorgeous.

Rose wanted to be a bit bolder and chose an off the shoulder bandage dress in black with horizontal sashes of electric blue going across her torso. The dress was also mid thigh and fit her pin up body like a glove. A pair of black peep toe pumps, diamond studs in her ears, nude lips and her signature blonde curls tussled for the freshly fucked look and she was ready to go.

My ammo for the night was an extremely pair of short, high-waisted shorts with suspenders in denim, with a white tube top. The shorts fell right below my ass cheeks and made them look rounder than usual. Towards the top of the waist was a row of four huge white buttons on each side…giving it a slight nautical feel.

The white top sat nicely against my sun kissed skin and caused my art work to pop out all the more. I matched this outfit with my favorite pair of patent leather red peep toe pumps and a nautical themed chain. The anchor rested directly between my breasts and would definitely attract attention.

My hair was left down and slightly tussled with mousse to give it a bit of extra bounce. With my outfit now complete…I reached into my make-up case and chose a silvery shadow and black liner to go over my eyes.

The finishing touch was my devil red lipstick and the spritz of perfume over each wrist.

Following the bass and laughing of my two girls into the living room, I found them dancing to Pitbulls' 'Shake Senora' and joined in.

Living in Florida for so long made you appreciate the hot beats from the islands and fall in love with the cultures. The sound of a conga or drum would take you over and take you far away.

After the song was through, we all piled into the cab we had called to pick us up.

The outside of the club was packed and filled with all the riff raff hoochies that resided in Central Florida. We could see that our favorite whore and sometimes friend, Angela, was already here and looking to sink her teeth into some unsuspecting fool with unruly sex hair.

"Bella…is that Edward with Ange?" Ally whispered in my ear, while Rose was already on her way to pull him away from the succubus.

Angela looked slightly offended that Bratz was invading into her territory, but one look my way, and the whispered threats that Rose must have whispered in her ear…and she was quickly scurrying away.

"Thank God," Lionel exclaimed once he reached where I was standing. "I was beginning to think the girl was plain ol' stupid…I mean, how many times do I have to say 'not interested' and 'I'm meeting someone,' for her to get a fucking clue?"

Rose and Ally's eyes snapped to mine as he mentioned meeting someone, while mine began to watch the floor, suddenly finding my shoes incredibly interesting.

"Well now, why don't we get up front and enter…I have a long island with my name on it and Bella, hopefully, the man of her dreams." Ally smirked as Edward's eyes narrowed and began to notice my lack of clothing. He licked his lips and cleared his throat various times, before he was able to say anything…

"Y-you have a d-date tonight, Boss?" he stuttered while glaring at me. What the fuck, he's here meeting another and I can't? That shit just isn't going to fly anymore.

"First of all, the name's…Bella. Second, what the hell it is to you if I do? You're meeting someone here too and third, I don't owe you any kind of explanation." With those parting words I walked away and headed toward the roped off entrance.

The bouncer here was a good friend of my crew and let me in right away; including the stuttering asshole I loved so much.

_Love…love…_oh fuck me, my inner bitch was cowering in a dark corner and rocking back and forth.

I love him?

Not good, not good at all…he doesn't see me that way. No matter what Rose or Ally say, he's not into me like that. If he was, the boy would have made a go at me a long time ago…he's had plenty of opportunities and chances to get me alone and move our relationship from employee/employer to _more_.

"There you are," an annoying blonde with perfect Barbie looks, exclaimed as she wrapped her arms tightly around Edward's middle and held him close.

"Tan, watch the sexpenders," he said with a warm chuckle and hugged her back with just as much endearment. My eyes watered, I was so close to crumbling before his emerald eyes, when he remembered there were others before him and began to introduce us all to the person who became the bane of my existence…the one and only, the perfect and special…Miss Tanya Denali.

**Okay folks I want to take this moment to apologize for my lack in review replies…I will tell you all, that I read and treasure every single one, but my life keeps getting busier and the few moments that I do have to dedicate to the fandom are usually spent writing my tail off so that I can update my stories.**

**Please forgive and understand that I do love you all and appreciate all the love you give every single one of my stories.**

**See you all next week…**

**Massy **


	7. Chapter 7

**Early update this week since my life is going to be super busy the next couple of days…**

**Twilight isn't mine.**

**Chapter 6**

**Bella's POV**

**Songs for chapter:**

_There's a fire starting in my heart,__  
><em>_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark.__  
><em>_Finally I can see you crystal clear__  
><em>_Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare.__See how I'll leave, with every piece of you__  
><em>_Don't underestimate the things that I will do._

_There's a fire starting in my heart,__  
><em>_Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark._

_The scars of your love, remind me of us.__  
><em>_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all__  
><em>_The scars of your love, they leave me breathless__  
><em>_I can't help feeling__  
><em>_We could have had it all__  
><em>_Rolling in the deep__  
><em>_You had my heart inside your hand__  
><em>_And you played it__  
><em>_To the beat_

_Rolling In The Deep by Adele_

Tanya was very pretty in that superficial 'I've had too many surgeries' kind of way.

Bubbly defined her to a T...with a special knack for hugging and popping into conversations she had absolutely no business in.

Rose and Ally tried on numerous occasions to get me away from their presence, but the chick just wouldn't quit.

"So Bella, you're our li'l Ed's boss," she said while adding layer number 45 of lip gloss on her collagen enhanced lips, "...is he a stellar employee or do I need to whip him into shape for you?" Her giggle grated on my nerves, but with the sexy big-girl panties I had on, I smiled and spent the next ten minutes singing our 'Lil Ed's' praises and watching her pat his cheek lovingly.

His expression was one of surprise, as I went on and on about his extensive talent and ever growing clientele...his cheeks were bright red and his smile was actually genuine.

"Thank you Miss Swan...that means a lot coming from you," he said softly from across the booth.

Suddenly the beginning beats to _Senorita_ by Justin Timberlake started blasting through the speakers and the obnoxious blonde squealed.

No. I mean literally squealed.

"Come on Ed...this is my jam!" she screamed over the music and began dragging him behind her, while he looked entirely uncomfortable. This wasn't his scene or type of music, but it spoke volumes to me of his feelings for her.

"I'm so sorry B," Bratz said while Ally looked on with an equally guilty expression.

"This isn't your fault girls...I needed to see this and now I'll move on with no doubt left in my mind, that we just aren't meant to be."

They exchanged nervous glances before telling me that they had in fact known he would be here tonight.

According to the troublesome duo, while I was with Amun yesterday, he spoke of heading out this way and meeting with some of his family. We deduced that his family must have bailed on him and that little miss plastic showed up in their place instead.

They apologized over and over, believing I was upset...truthfully I was touched they went so far as eavesdropping to help a sista' out.

"Girls...stop okay. It's not your fault nor is it his...he doesn't see me that way and its time for me to move on." They wanted to protest, but after my harsh…'let it fucking go,' they let it be.

"Look, the place is packed and we're dressed to kill...let's have a few drinks, dance and find me a cutie to hook-up with." Reluctantly they both agreed and we went on the prowl.

Not that I was ready to hook-up, but if I didn't move them past the subject of Edward, it would never have stopped.

The dance floor was packed and _London Bridge_ was ringing through...we went straight for the middle and began to grind to the beat. Rose was behind me with her hands on my hips and Ally shook it on my front. We gyrated to the beat and fed off each other's energy.

For a few minutes we forgot about everything that had just happened and with my arms high above my head, I let the bass pull me under and take me away.

The hook was just about to come on and after giving them each a nod, we all stood beside the other...bent at the waist and made our booty's clap.

The crowd went wild with our sexy moves and the catcalls rang throughout. We laughed and declined quite a few invitations to dance with the other masculine patrons.

The girls made a bee line for the bar, while I stood off to the side and watched a group of couples dancing to a reggae beat.

My hips were swaying to the island rhythm...not paying attention to the sudden hulking body by my side.

"Nothing sexier than seeing a woman so comfortable in her own skin," said a husky voice in my ear. The voice belonged to a very handsome tall drink of water, making me suddenly parched.

"Really..." Giving him my most coy look, I twirled a piece of hair around my finger.

The stranger's deep laugh made me smile and extend my hand out to him.

"Name's Bella...yours?"

"Benjamin, but call me Benny, gorgeous." His smile was genuine and mine was the first I displayed all night without having to force it.

We spent the next twenty minutes discussing music and the variety played in this club.

He was very sweet and actually interested in everything I had to say.

The girls came around with the waters and complaining of the ridiculous waiting they had to do at the bar. Hearing this, Benny excused himself and went straight to said bar.

Walking behind it as if he owned the place, he removed his long sleeve tee and left himself in a plain white wife beater...I swear on everything that's holy, that I _almost_ jumped over said bar to lick his work. Not only was he extremely sexy serving drinks and laughing with the patrons, but the lighting behind the bar made his sleeve stand out all the more to my lustful eyes.

The entire piece began at his shoulder and ended at his wrist. At the top he had an intricately done Jesus Christ looking down, following him were clouds and doves flying directly below his Holiness. The whole thing was beautiful and you could tell the owner was very religious.

As another layer of clouds followed, we met an angel delicately perched on a branch with blooming roses surrounding the innocent cherub.

The entire thing popped out under the florescent light, calling my attention...it was a beautiful piece and inspiring me to add another tattoo to my already extensive collection.

Walking towards the bar, I was resolved in getting to know this man…unbeknownst to him; he had captivated my attention and made me forget, temporarily, all about the one that would never be mine.

Maybe he could be just what I needed to get over _him_.

I was mere steps away from reaching the stool in front of Benny when I was suddenly pulled against a hard chest. The arm around my waist tightened and the harsh breather in my ear told me to 'walk.'

I knew that harsh voice..._fuck you, Edward; you will not ruin this for me_. My heels stopped moving and I refused to be pushed another inch.

Turning towards him to let him have a piece of my mind...

"What the fuck Ed...," the words died in my throat as the brute picked me up and unceremoniously carried me towards a dark corner of the club.

Once behind a curtain blocking most from view, he pushed me against the nearest wall and glared. His nostrils were flaring...fists clenching on either side of my head and his body was pressed tightly against mine.

Fuck he felt good...no, no, no dammit...he can't continue doing this to me.

"Get the fuc..." I started when his lips suddenly began devouring mine.

Nothing gentle or sweet about this kiss.

Harsh, demanding and life altering is how I would describe the way his lips felt against mine. His tongue forced its way passed my closed lips and dominated mine.

Tasting.

Probing.

Fucking.

His teeth never stayed far from the party as every chance he could, my lip was tortured by his brutal attacks. My moans and pleading for more only spurred him on...grinding his extremely hard length against my hip. My pussy needed friction desperately and my hand began it's descent towards my swollen box.

Barely grazing the outside of my covered lips, I groaned and he suddenly pulled away...watching my palm circle the nub and my fingers trying to add pressure where I desperately wanted his cock.

"Fuck you're a sexy bitch, Miss Swan...you look so good with your head thrown back, searching for some relief from what only I could do to you." His finger grasped my wrist tightly in his and pulled my hand away.

"Tisk, tisk...Twinkle, only I will be granting you some relief tonight."

**See ya next week... now before you go leave me some sugar!**


	8. Chapter 8

**To my faithful readers old and new… you guys amaze me with the amount of passion/ love/hate/frustration you have for this duo…I love reading each and every review and smile as you let me have it with each one…please keep em' coming…they make my day!**

**Thanks again to my wonderful team…they are the reason my chicken scratch looks so good!**

**Twilight isn't mine…**

**Chapter 7**

**Bella' POV**

_Hangin' round downtown by myself__  
><em>_And I had so much time__  
><em>_To sit and think about myself__  
><em>_And then there she was__  
><em>_Like double cherry pie__  
><em>_Yeah there she was__  
><em>_Like disco superfly__  
><em>_I smell sex and candy here__  
><em>_Who's that lounging in my chair__  
><em>_Who's that casting devious stares__  
><em>_In my direction__  
><em>_Mama this surely is a dream_

_Marcy playground- Sex and Candy_

His touch became more scorching with each minute my wrist was detained in those long, elegant, yet calloused fingers of his.

I had no idea how long we stood there looking at the other...his emerald eyes boring into my exposed skin. My body rocked with shudders under his scrutiny.

The things this man did to me, with just his eyes alone should be considered illegal.

I'm starting to believe; I would surely die if his hands or mouth ever descended upon my naked flesh.

"Look at you, Miss Swan...all crazed with lust and itching for my touch," he boasted. "I bet you...no one knows the type of needy whore you truly are? No one has seen you this crazed...this desperate, for a single touch. No! Fuck that...not anyone's touch...only mine!"

I moaned loudly...his smirk becoming sinister.

He was torturing me with his ease; did he not feel this intense energy flowing between the two of us?

That need to touch...to devour, like I did?

"Stop over thinking this babe...I see those pretty wheels turning...stop it!" His voice was rough and his tone demanding. Automatically he put me at ease and out of my misery as one lone finger trailed itself down the valley between my breasts.

I stiffened in anticipation. He mistook my stance as wanting to stop and began to pull away...I couldn't have that.

Pulling him by the loops of his pants, I brought his hard length near my desperate pussy. Yes, I said desperate. He controls me and knows it...I hate this feeling, but don't want to fight it either.

"Edward...please," I began to beg, but his glare cut me off.

"No," he growled against my lip before biting down hard, "don't call me Edward...call me Lionel babe...your Lionel."

"Oh fuck, Lionel," I whined, earning myself a deep groan and for his two strong hands to reach down and squeeze my rear.

Fingers digging… pushing me forward and closer to where I've wanted to be for so long.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head with each tortured grunt that left his lips; as he manipulated my flesh harder and harsher. I was sure to have finger sized bruises come morning, but at this very moment, I couldn't find a reason to care.

"Jesus babe...you feel so good in my arms. So tiny..." he trailed off as the curtain, where we were hidden from view, was suddenly pushed aside and we were met with two wide and surprised eyes.

She looked positively excited, and embarrassed, for interrupting...poor girl.

"Fuck...I'm so sorry...carry on," she stammered, then quickly tried to close our bubble back up, but it was too late. The mood had shifted and I could feel him clamming up and those walls coming back up.

His forehead rested upon mine as he tried in vain to collect himself.

"Please don't leave," I begged, but I could clearly see the flight in him already.

He slowly disentangled himself from me and put his hard 'I'm too good for you' brick walls back up. I wanted to rant...scream, and beg for an explanation to his constant change of moods.

I mean one moment you're all for this, whatever it is between us, and the next I don't exist.

The whiplash he constantly leaves me with was tearing me down slowly...I couldn't keep doing this and told him so...

"Edward, if you walk out and leave me here alone...again, that's it…no more chances...no more encounters or treating me as your plaything...nothing, do you get that?"

His mouth opened various times, but each time I was met with silence.

"Do you want me?" I asked in hopes that a small 'yes' would escape his bruised lips and leave me with some kind of hope, but instead he remained stoic.

I watched the range of emotions fly through his jade orbs.

Want.

Desire.

Anger...that one shocked me, but not more than what happened next.

Eyes closed and trembling is how he left me after somewhat collecting himself and muttering a quick 'sorry', before running from me and all that I stupidly offered.

It took me a while to collect myself and return to where I had last seen the girls.

Ally and Rose greeted me with enthusiasm, believing that things had finally gone my way. Those smiles quickly dissolved as they took in my devastated form and the few tears that fell from my eyes.

"What did he do?" they each asked...one with a gentle hand wiping my eyes while my Bratz looked ready to kill.

"Nothing Rose...he did nothing and its time I do the same. I'm done...motherfucking done." Do you hear me? "Done with this shitty yo-yo of a relationship we have going on. I let him get too close,_ close_ enough to show me a glimpse of what being with him could be like. I was stupid and I should pay for that." I barely manage to say this in a hoarse whisper.

My emotions were quickly getting the best of me...I needed to keep them in check, at least until I was within the safety of my four walls.

Then, and only then, would I let the hurt seep out.

"Oh Twinkle, sweetie, this is not your fault. Okay. He came on to you...I saw him pull you away from the bar and the hot guy calling your attention," Ally soothed while running her gentle fingers through my hair.

She was trying to give me the comfort I desperately needed...the support.

"Fuck that shit...he got jealous and fucked up her very possible hook up. Edward's not stupid, quite the contrary. He ruined her plans to get to know Benny while he walks away with a victory and Tanya 'the plastic queen' on his arm." Her last statement stopped me mid breath.

That fucking bastard was here with someone else.

How fucking stupid could I have been?

He had the audacity to act jealous and crazed when tonight he would be in another's arms.

My tears stopped.

My body shook, but no longer from grief, no...this time I was burning in a sea of hate and anger.

How dare he?

"She's right Ally," I began, "he played me and Tanya. Not that I care for the girl, but what he did was fucked up. I had the perfect opportunity to meet someone new...someone who called to me and made me forget all about Edward."

They weren't sure where I was going with this speech, but their faces did hold out hope. As tired as I was with his constant games, so were they.

No friend wants to see their own in pain or in tears due to the carelessness of another.

"He wants to play games and show me attention when he feels threatened...well; let's see him try with me in another man's arms."

Rose smiled at me with pride while Ally looked confused.

"In other words, Ally, I will make it my purpose to avoid being alone with him at any given time in the future. I vow to get to know that hunk behind the bar and give myself an honest chance. I deserve to be loved and wanted, don't you think?"

She nodded and smiled just as genuinely as the dopey blonde next to her.

"I won't go home with him tonight or any night soon, but I will leave him my number. The ball will be in his court now and I'll graciously accept any offer he proposes, in getting to know me. Hopefully soon, real soon, Edward will be nothing more than a distant memory."

The watched me for any sign of doubt, but found none.

"Go for it, Twinkle...you deserve to be happy and he's not ready to give you anything other than heartache at the moment," Ally added while Rose wrote my info for me on the back of the one of the shop's cards.

Handing it over to me, she gave me a hug and a push in Benny's direction. The crowd had died down considerably… I quickly found him talking to an older blonde as I approached.

She noticed me right away and her eyes widened.

Licking her lips, she made her way over, but much to my amusement, the man giving me hope stopped her before she could reach me.

"I'll be the only one taking care of her needs, Lauren." She gave him a murderous glare and walked away, sashaying her hips.

My eyebrows rose in question and he laughed.

"My dear Lauren over there is the resident lesbian cougar," he explained as said girl threw a towel at his head and shot me a lustful wink.

"She saw you and I can guaren-danm-tee she creamed herself, but don't worry, I'll let her know that the only one taking care of your sweet and sinful needs from now on will be me." My lips curved into a smile as his widened.

"Really now?" I sassed, causing him to laugh again.

Such a beautiful sound, but not like Ed...No, fuck and no!

I will not go there.

"So what can I get you gorgeous?" he asked, bringing me back to his dazzling presence.

"Nothing for tonight," I said and his shoulders slumped," but tomorrow's another day...call me." Rising from my seat on the stool, I leant over the bar and laid a tiny kiss on his cheek.

He looked thrilled and hopeful for more as he put my information into his phone. It was with that same energy that I began to believe this could work.

Maybe...just maybe this would be all I needed to move on and forget him.

One could only hope.

**I would like to thank who ever nom'd my stories over at the Twilight Eclipse Awards...it was totally unexpected and such a lovely surprise...voting is now open, so head on over and vote for all your favorites!**

** twilighteclipseawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**See you guys next week, now leave me some sugar!**


	9. Chapter 9

**As always Twilight isn't mine…we all know this.**

Chapter 8

Bella's POV

_We walked along a crowded street__  
><em>_You took my hand and danced with me__  
><em>_Images___

_And when you left you kissed my lips__  
><em>_You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no___

_I never want to see you unhappy__  
><em>_I thought you'd want the same for me___

_Goodbye, my almost lover__  
><em>_Goodbye, my hopeless dream__  
><em>_I'm trying not to think about you__  
><em>_Can't you just let me be?__  
><em>_So long, my luckless romance__  
><em>_My back is turned on you__  
><em>_I should've known you'd bring me heartache__  
><em>_Almost lovers always do___

_I cannot go to the ocean__  
><em>_I cannot drive the streets at night__  
><em>_I cannot wake up in the morning__  
><em>_Without you on my mind__  
><em>_So you're gone and I'm haunted__  
><em>_And I bet you are just fine__  
><em>_Did I make it that easy__  
><em>_To walk right in and out of my life?_

_Almost Lovers-A Fine Frenzy_

The following day was an extremely awkward one at Tiger Tattoo's to say the least.

First off, arriving at the shop around nine a.m. was not my idea of fun, but unfortunately it was my turn to open this fine sunny morning. No one had arrived yet and while it was weird having so much silence within these walls…it gave me the chance to get my head in the game, before seeing_ him_ again.

It was a chance to calm my nerves and rejoice in the few minutes of silence this afforded me.

I was aware of Edward coming in early this morning…he needed to set up for his mid- morning appointment. The huge and ambiguous back piece he was doing for a local ball player would take up most of his day and then some.

I found myself hoping and praying that he would be discouraged from being around me. That he would go back to avoiding me at all costs, thus making my decisions easier to follow through with, even though every part of me was fighting against the inevitable.

After last night's fiasco, I had sworn to myself to be careful in our daily interactions…limiting them to what was absolutely necessary and not letting him dominate them. No longer will I let him pull me in his direction or into his venomous trap.

He had a girlfriend and I hopefully have someone to get to know.

The gentle ring of the bell above the door signals an arrival in the shop. Feeling confident and resigned to stick to my own plans of avoidance, I walk towards the front.

My head was finally getting into the right head space, I squared my shoulders ready to man the fort by myself, and even deal with Lionel until Ally came in.

It is with this newly acquired resolve that I head towards my destiny…I was hopeful that the ringing of that bell was signaling an early morning walk-in or maybe even a piercing...instead I am met with the same remorseful green eyes that hurt me so much last night. He walks right on in and straight to where I stand, holding what seems to be breakfast for the two of us...a bribe.

Two coffees in hand and a box of donuts, my favorite morning treat.

"Can we talk Bella?"

He looks rough, as if he hadn't slept at all last night. My heart is screaming 'yes' and wanting to do so much more than talking, while my body fights with itself. My limbs are desperate for his warmth, for his affection.

The only sane part of me is my mind.

It has put up walls so tough and sturdy, that they rival Alcatraz in its hay day.

"There's nothing to talk about Mr. Masen...now, could you please set up your station as you have an early morning appointment." His eyes plead with me to understand something, _something_ that only he is aware of as he refuses to speak.

I know nothing about what troubles he has, and at this point, can't afford to care.

I want to give in, but I am too scared, _scared_ of trusting that I mean more or that he cares. But the reality is that he belongs to another and will never be mine, so why hope.

The faster my heart accepts this truth, the better we will all be.

"Bella I know I fuc..."

"Stop," I spat, "Just stop! I don't know what kind of game you're trying to play, but I'm not that type of girl. I don't sleep or fuck around with unattainable men Mr. Masen...and that's exactly what you are."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He looks quite perplexed.

Does having a girlfriend mean nothing to him?

"Does Tanya not ring any bells, asshole?" He is stunned for a total of thirty seconds before he starts laughing his ass off. It takes him a while, in-between gulps of air and wiping of tears, to notice that I am not in on the hysterical joke.

"You think...I would never...no, no, no," he stammers and pulls me over to sit on the love seat we have by our front windows.

"Bella...Twinkle...she's not my girlfriend. She's my..." The ringing of the bell alerts us to yet another arrival in the shop…it cuts him off and once again blocks us form gaining any form of communication that could solve all our misunderstandings.

Will we ever catch a break and talk without interruptions?

"Delivery for a Miss Swan," the male voice announces and I begin to stand.

I am not expecting anything and am quite shocked to see a young, pimply, teenage boy, standing before me with take-out from a local breakfast chain.

"Um, I didn't order anything," I say to the young kid, while he pulls out a note and passes it over to me.

"The man that ordered this said to give it to you...that everything would make sense once you read," he stammers while studying each and every one of my tattoos.

_Dear Miss Swan...even though I prefer Gorgeous,_

_I wanted to wait and do the whole three day crap, but I can't stay away. Meeting you last night was the highlight of my week, month...hell, year thus far._

_Please accept my simple gesture of breakfast and hopefully someday soon, it'll be me cooking it for you._

_See you soon, _

_Benny_

I am mesmerized by this man's sweet gesture and blush.

Edward notices my change in demeanor and quickly snatches the note from within my grasp.

"Who is this fuckwit, Bella?" His tone is one of anger and betrayal.

How dare he?

"What's it to you, Edward? Since when did you decide to care, hmm?" I hedge while he glares at the warm food before us. "I truly doubt your girlfriend would appreciate it."

"You're right," he growls, "I shouldn't care, but I do. Fucking sue me, and if you refuse to tell me who this jackass is, why should I tell you about my girl?" Raised eyebrow and all, he stood defiant before me, looking way too entitled and delicious for me to handle.

"An admirer," I mumble without looking at his face, "I don't want to argue…please Edward leave it at that." Grabbing my breakfast from the young kid, I tip him and walk away.

I had been in my office no longer than five minutes when he barged in and began demanding answers.

We argued.

He threatened my relationship and vows to fuck Benny up.

Thank God his appointment was punctual and Ally walked in mere seconds after they did.

Edward no longer has a choice and lets me be.

"Twinkle, what's going on and why dies Lionel look ready to kill?"

My head bangs against my desk, repeatedly, as I relay to her the events of this glorious morning.

I don't understand his sudden fascination with me or my personal life…just days prior I was invisible to him...a nobody.

Was it Benny's presence that set off this animalistic need to claim what he's lost?

Plus, why should I feel bad? He has a girlfriend.

A bubbly, plastic and very ditzy Barbie, that he calls his. He said she wasn't, but never explained who she was or is to him either.

And as soon as I claimed to have an admirer, then she became his girl.

Fuck me; this is all so confusing...

"It'll all work out Twinkle...have faith, I do." She stood up and patted my hand in a supportive gesture.

Remaining in my office till my twelve o'clock appointment arrives is the only option I have left to avoid another confrontation… hopefully the feel and buzz of the inking gun in my hands will give me the small semblance of peace that I so desperately need.

**I would like to take a moment and thank each and every one of you that reads this story, that puts it on alert, that pimps, rec's and reviews my chapters…It means the world to me and honestly the fiery hate you all have for Lionel…cracks me up!**

**See you guys next week…now please leave me my weekly dose of sugar!**


	10. Chapter 10

**I would like to take a small minute to get everyone over and check out the Driven to Desire contest entries and leave everyone some love…there are some great pieces that deserve some sugar, plus…I have one in there too…so head on over to the Driven To Desire Challenge on Fan fiction(dot)Net…**

**To my faithful readers old and new… you guys amaze me with the amount of passion/ love/hate/frustration you have for this duo…I love reading each and every review and smile as you let me have it with each one…please keep em' coming…they make my day!**

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**Thanks again to my wonderful team…they are the reason my chicken scratch looks so good!**

**Twilight isn't mine…**

**Chapter 9**

**Bella's POV**

_Beauty queen of only eighteen__  
><em>_She had some trouble with herself__  
><em>_He was always there to help her__  
><em>_She always belonged to someone else__I drove for miles and miles__  
><em>_And wound up at your door__  
><em>_I've had you so many times__  
><em>_But somehow I want more__[Chorus]__  
><em>_I don't mind spendin' everyday__  
><em>_Out on your corner in the pourin' rain__  
><em>_Look for the girl with the broken smile__  
><em>_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile__  
><em>_She will be loved__Tap on my window, knock on my door__  
><em>_I want to make you feel beautiful__  
><em>_I know I tend to get so insecure__  
><em>_It doesn't matter anymore__It's not always rainbows and butterflies__  
><em>_It's compromise that moves us along__  
><em>_My heart is full, and my door's always open__  
><em>_You can come anytime you want__She Will Be Loved by Maroone 5_

Benny was relentless in his pursuit of my attention and I embraced the feeling of being wanted. My entire demeanor glowed. Customers constantly commented on my bright eyes and wide smile, much to _Edward's_ distaste.

Everyone was ecstatic for me, but Lionel.

He went out of his way, every day, to make Benny feel uncomfortable throughout our relationship.

As uncomfortable as he made Benny feel, with _me, _it was all about the hurt that his now never ending parade of Tanya in my face caused.

She was there in the morning…at lunch _and_ right before our dinner break.

At one point I questioned if the girl actually had a life, but her answer was like salt on a newly opened wound…rubbed in my face as she gushed over every single thing Edward did.

It quickly became clear that_ he_ was her life.

Today Benny was coming in for our six month anniversary and we were commemorating the occasion with a new piece added to his new sleeve. His love of religious pieces inspired my own and after much debating and looking for something we would both be happy with, we had chose a pair of praying hands with a rosary dangling between its fingers.

This wasn't something outlandish nor cheesy…it fit us both to a 'T' and displayed our strong religious beliefs.

He was actually letting me mark him and I was beyond thrilled with this.

I spent almost every minute of my free time trying to add special touches to the simple design yet stunning design. He was a devout believer in St. Lazarus and as such I tried my best to add the colors and flowers representing his saint.

Roses in yellow, purple and white surrounded the hands. The rosary beads remained black with tiny reflections of white to make it look as if they shined.

The entire piece would be placed on his left shoulder and would run down to mid arm. Below the end of the rosary would be Lazarus himself, but that was a tattoo that would be done another day.

By the time he was through, both arms would hold all he held near and dear in his life and would become a beautiful tribute.

My design was a bit like his, but on a smaller scale...the praying hands would be placed above my upper back, but instead of flowers, I would have a single ribbon swirling throughout. Looking windblown and free...a statement of my faith and need to make my own destiny at the same time.

Both intertwined yet separate in meanings.

Emmett had agreed to work on mine after I finished Benny's and was really excited to start.

All morning he gushed over finally getting to put some ink on me… which I found a bit creepy, but that just my chuckles over excited about everything and anything.

Demmy laughed and told him to consider himself lucky.

All my artwork thus far has been completed by either me or Demetri...no one else had ever marked my flesh.

Benny was scheduled to be due around two in the shop for his final approval and placement...

We were minutes away from his arrival, when he called to let me know to go ahead and get mine done first, as he had a newly arisen problem with a delivery at the club.

He apologized profusely, but I let him know quickly that I understood what it took to run a business and that all would be okay.

"I'm so sorry gorgeous...I'll be there as soon as I can," he said.

"Dude chilax... it's okay…I'm not upset, just get here when you can. I specifically left my day open for you, so whenever you're ready head on over."

"You're the best gorgeous...thank you and I'll be there as soon as I can."

We quickly hung up with plans for him to bring in food for me, him, and my gargantuan appetite…the guy was a real charmer and so very thoughtful.

It was around twelve that same day when things changed and the unthinkable happened… my first fight with this sweet man would soon ensue.

Behind it all lay Edward and his charming 'I didn't do anything wrong' smile.

Emmett and Rose had gone out to lunch and while out, ran into a small Volkswagen Beetle. Literally. The whole thing was a fender bender and could have been taken care of with a simple exchange of information, but no, the lady wanted to make an entire production of it.

"I'm sorry Twinkle," he sighed into the phone, "she just won't quit complaining and the cops look as aggravated as Rose and I do." Through his words I could hear the old bat whining and complaining of being run down by thugs... seriously.

"S'kay Emm...I'll just reschedule the whole thing for another day...umm Chuckles?" Did he just hang up?

"Lady, I swear to God if you hit him one more time with your purse, said purse will be shoved up your ass and have to be surgically removed."

Rose?

"Why I never...you see officer...these hooligans have no respect for their elders." Jesus this broad was crazy.

"Bells, I gotta go...Bratz is about to kill an old bitch and I need my girl to sleep...call ya laterz." And the line went dead.

Things just keep getting crazier and crazier.

"You know Twinkle, I would be honored to mark that sexy skin of yours."

I've done such a good job in the last few months on staying away. Of course his 'Tanya' always being here helped...no matter how badly I've wanted to kill her or tell her to 'shut the fuck up', her presence has come in handy and was my only salvation at times.

"Sorry Lionel, but that just won't do," I said while walking towards my office. I never faced him or gave him the chance of talking me into this crazy, fantasy inducing idea of his.

The temptation was too great...his hands, gun, and mark on my body...fuck!

I was barely inside my office when he pushed me against the wall and buried his nose in my neck. The feral rumble that tore from his throat as my smell permeated his senses made my knees weak.

_Danger, Danger, Danger_ my mind screamed while my pussy wept.

He still felt entirely too good.

"Please don't," I begged...his body heat was making me tremble and forget all the reasons why this couldn't be.

Benny.

Tanya.

I couldn't do this...

Pushing him off hard, he stumbled into the door and locked us in...Not the desired outcome, but at least we had a desk between us now.

"Let me do this," he growled, "Fuck, Twinkle, let me mark you...no one, but me, should be marking you...you want my hands, gun and ink on your flesh as badly as I do."

Such an amazing argument.

And cue gush...

"I-I d-don't think t-that's a good idea...please just let it go." Again he didn't listen...just stalked forward and began chasing me around my desk.

This was the sexiest game of chase I had ever seen.

He looked feral in his need and I was the innocent lamb about to be caught by his greedy paws.

"I'll behave, I swear." His hands rose in surrender and I breathed in deeply.

"What the hell does that mean?" I huffed.

"It means, all I want to do is give you the tattoo Emmett's been working so hard on." He walked two steps closer. "It also means that while I don't agree with you and the 'idiot' getting matching ones...at least I'll do it right and my mark will forever be etched on your skin and that's something I _can_ live with."

"Nothing else...just marking me is what you're after?"

His sexy glasses fell forward a bit and he sexually molested me with his stare before pushing them up. His long finger tracing the edge as he slowly pushed and all I saw was that same finger pushing and circling my entrance before fucking me.

He was a danger to my sanity.

_I want to ride this man's face while he wears nothing but those sexy frames and suspenders...I mused _and he chuckled_._

"That could be arranged." I froze...fuck me; I said that out loud...didn't I?

"Yes, you did, but I'm not complaining."

Shit...shit...fuck!

"How long will it take you to set up and do you know where Chuckles' drawings are?" His smile was blindingly beautiful.

I'm not one hundred percent comfortable with this, but I had to deflect... glasses, sexpenders, and any more talk of riding his face and I was sure to die.

Death by arousal...sad way to go.

"Seriously Twinkle?" I nodded and suddenly I was off the floor and being twirled around the room. "You just fucking made my day, beautiful...thank you."

My chest constricted.

He walked out of the room without a second glace, but as he headed back towards his station all that could be heard throughout the suddenly quiet shop was...

"Fuck, she's going to wear my mark...my motherfucking ink."

**See you guys next week…now please leave me my weekly dose of sugar!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So sorry for the long delay on this next chapter, but you can definitely blame this on the massive witch hunt, lead by the under age moral police on fanfic… I have backed up all my files to every story and have begun to load them over on TWCS under reyes139 and also on an same penname on all sites… For more information on where I will be posting in the future and where to find pics, teasers, and info on all my upcoming projects check out my group on Face book Massy's Minions and on the blog at reyes139(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**By the way, I wont be removing any of my fics until fanfic does it for me….**

**As always Twilight isn't mine…now on with the show!**

Chapter 10

Bella's POV

_Where is the coastguard  
>I keep looking each direction<br>For a spotlight, give me something  
>I need something for protection<br>Maybe flotsam junk will do just fine  
>The jetsam sunk, I'm left behind<br>I'm treading for my life believe me  
>(How can I keep up this breathing)<em>

Not knowing how to think  
>I scream aloud, begin to sink<br>My legs and arms are broken down  
>With envy for the solid ground<br>I'm reaching for the life within me  
>How can one man stop his ending<br>I thought of just your face  
>Relaxed, and floated into space<p>

_[ Lyrics from: lyrics/b/blue_october/into_the_ ]__  
>I want to swim away but don't know how<br>Sometimes it feels just like I'm fallin in the ocean  
>Let the waves up take me down<br>Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah  
>Let the rain of what I feel right now, come down<br>Let the rain come down  
><em>

**Into The Ocean by Blue October  
><strong>

What had I just agreed to?

_Are you out of your fucking mind_? The angel on my right shoulder screamed while watching his sexy ass walk away in those tight acid wash jeans he loved so much.

The devil on my left laughed and started singing lyrics to really obscene music.

_My neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack._

While completely inappropriate, fuck did my hoo-hah cream itself on just the thought of his tongue anywhere near her...fuck that vision truly was a thing of beauty!

_She's fucked if she follows through,_ the angel said while my devil in leather smirked and nodded in agreement.

"But what a way to go," I added in a moan and walked back into my office.

My nerves were completely shot as I awaited his return...afraid of what my face would give away and how my body would cave.

I was slowly going insane with want. The two entities now making appearances and talking to me were all proof of that.

I was slowly becoming certifiable...

The thought of Benny being upset also weighed heavily on my mind…not that it would stop me, but it was adding to my already high stress levels and not so sane visions.

Its not that he was insecure in us, but he was cautious when it came to Edward...he had every reason to be.

"He looks at you as if you're his next meal," he would say on occasion when hanging with me in the shop.

He never had a problem with the other males that worked here or questioned my closeness to Demmy...it was just Edward that would set him off.

"Do you like his attention?" he questioned when I ignored his rant, "Is that why he gets away with treating you the way he does?" Many times I pondered the same thing, and always came to the same conclusion...I couldn't lose him.

It was a horrible thing feeling torn in two, wanting to make your significant other happy while your heart always chose another. Would it make Benny happier if there was no Edward...yes, but at the same time his happiness would become my misery, I couldn't do that to myself.

Even if that meant torturing myself with nothing more than being the signer of his checks and having the occasional 'good morning' or a simple 'hey' from him…those few moments would be worth it.

Lionel was worth all the longing and ache.

As pathetic as this may sound, his glaring and constant stares made my day.

Yes...pathetic indeed.

I contemplated calling Benny and explaining the newly arisen situation...picking up the phone several times in an attempt to divulge the new plan, but instead I found myself pacing and dreading his reaction.

Would he understand or would I receive his anger…judgment.

I felt he knew of my true feelings, the idea of having them shoved back in my face not appealing and certainly not what I had anticipated for my day.

I don't know how long I stood there just picking up and tossing my phone as if I had been burned. It wasn't until I heard his sexy chuckle that I quit my internal debate and accepted my fate.

In his hands he held two stencils of my original drawing...each similar yet miles apart.

They were completely beautiful.

One featured a pair of hands together in prayer with what looked to be a rosary hanging between its fingers…pretty in a generic sort of way.

There was no ribbon as I desired, but instead a bed of bright red roses lay underneath the hands…almost as if it were a resting place for them. The hands seemed too masculine for my liking and generic…I wanted something softer, feminine and unique.

Like I said, beautiful but not what I saw on myself.

The entire thing was going to be in black and white… the only splash of color would be those flowers and the green leaves accompanying them.

The second stencil drew my attention and stole my breath away...it was a pair of delicate hands, small and feminine, praying...holding her rosary in one hand, slightly grasping as if the object held her together.

The entire piece was also in black and white...with the rosary being all black with the minute white shadowing; it popped and looked as if reflecting light.

Behind the hands seemed to be rays of light shining through. Nine rays shot out in different directions, amplifying the beauty of the prayer and the power behind the act. The rays each rained down with flowers and brightness…vivid blues, reds, and purples surrounded the spiritual symbols and made them other worldly…beautiful.

The rosary bead, flowers and all around tenderness of the piece solidified my choice and bonded us together.

That was the one.

"This one," I whispered while pointing to the picture, "it has to be this one...its perfect."

"Glad you think so..." he trailed off. His eyes were brighter than they were a few minutes ago and I wondered why.

"What's with the cocky smirk, Lionel?"

His smirk bloomed into a full smile and my ovaries exploded on first visual.

"Dangerous son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath and he quietly chuckled. I was preparing myself for his latest attack, when the jerk surprised me by letting me off the hook and changing the subject.

"I'm just so happy you chose what I drew...I have been working on this since I heard you wanted it...studying your hands and their delicate mannerisms." My jaw dropped, he drew this...for me...why?

"Why?"

"Because I wanted it to be my drawing and idea on your skin...you bring out this desire in me. I want to be your..."

"Twinkle, Benny's on line one for you," Ally's voice broke through over our intercom system, stopping him yet again...motherfucker!

I could feel it in me, this could have been major, but once again we were interrupted and he froze up on me.

"You might want to answer that," he chimed in and got ready to leave, my hand on his stops him and our eyes lock.

"Give me a minute...okay. I want the one you drew, its perfect and I would be honored if you marked me." This was so wrong, but now that I new of all the trouble he went through to get this done…for me, it couldn't be any other way.

"You still want me to do it?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." He walked away with a smile and hope shining in those beautiful green eyes.

"Hey," I answered after taking a moment to collect myself and get under control, "what's up?"

"Nothing just got a call from Emm, he told me what happened...fucking sucks, but what can you do?" I sighed and he continued on as if it was nothing, "so I just wanted to know if you still want me to come over and hang out or meet up for dinner instead?"

Shit...here goes nothing.

"I'm still getting mine done today." There, simple and to the point.

"Is Demetri there?"

"No."

"Jasper?"

"Nope." This wasn't going to be fun.

"Then who the fuck is doing your tat...Edward?"

See, not fun at all. His breathing was heavy and sounding quite exasperated. The man did have something to fear, but I refused to let him be the wiser...we were doing fine as a couple, why add wood to that fire.

"Yes...he is._ Is_ there a reason why he shouldn't?" I felt horrible for acting stupid, but it just wasn't an option anymore...he was doing this, come hell or high water!

"What the hell do you think, or better yet, what the fuck were you thinking? He wants you gorgeous...why can't you see that?" I really wish he would quit saying that...Lionel doesn't want me, no; he just likes to provoke me.

"No he fucking doesn't," I snapped. "Look Benny, I have never given you a reason to be jealous or doubt me in this relationship. I have spent almost every free waking moment with you...here, at the club and our respective homes. He is a friend and will continue being one...if you have a problem, tough shit."

"Is that so?" he spat back.

"Yes...it is. No man tells me what I can and can't do or with whom. As long as I'm not unfaithful or fucking around behind your back...you have no say or reason to act like a dick."

"Good to know where I stand," he grouched and hung up.

This was not supposed to be this way...we were supposed to be happy and celebrating.

Damn you Edward and the power you wield over me.

**See you all next week!**


	12. Chapter 12

**To my crew…I love you!**

**My readers… I adore you!**

**Twilight isn't mine…now on with the show.**

Chapter 11

Edward's POV

_If I couldn't sleep could you sleep__  
><em>_Could you paint me better off__  
><em>_Could you sympathize with my needs__  
><em>_I know you think I need a lot___

_I started out clean but I'm jaded__  
><em>_Just phoning it in__  
><em>_Just breaking the skin___

_Can you help me I'm bent__  
><em>_I'm so scared that I'll never__  
><em>_Get put back together___

_You're breaking me in__  
><em>_And this is how we will end__  
><em>_With you and me bent___

_Start bending me__  
><em>_It's never enough__  
><em>_I feel all your pieces___

_Start bending me__  
><em>_Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in_

_Bent by matchbox twenty_

"I guess he's not happy I'm doing this, huh," I asked, even though the look she wore at that moment said it all. Benny wasn't a stupid man. He saw past all my indifference and reproachful stares…seeing behind my eyes, a man in love, but too afraid to make his feelings known.

A man that would give just about anything and everything to be in his shoes, but years of feeling insignificant by past relationships and women only looking for a good, quick fuck, had left his vision of himself askew.

I knew when I had chosen this profession, all the stigma that would follow…that the company of a different woman every night wasn't something to be seen as wrong; on the contrary...it was the norm.

In the two prior shops I worked in before coming here, that was an everyday occurrence for me and everyone else. Being young and horny made it look desirable and luxurious to have all that attention, but that 'appeal' could only last so long.

I got sick of it all after a while...the feeling of wanting more, growing within me everyday.

I had tried before…to let others in, but each attempt left me more miserable than the last.

Groupie type whores, sluts and the good girl trying to be bad…I'd had them all, but never felt a connection or acceptance in any attempt. The feeling of being looked at as if I was an anomaly…something worth staring at and not understanding… left me pretending to be something I was not.

Leaving me to feel all the more alone.

The very few I'd let see the real me, at first didn't know what to make of who I was behind the suspenders and lip ring. People, or more importantly women, thought that I was nothing more than a pretty face, with a sexy job and a rock and roll lifestyle...they couldn't have been more wrong.

I was a nerd.

Always had been and always would be...

I liked reading comics and watching late night Anime on Cartoon Network. Reading or gaming came in a close second to what a typical Saturday night looked like for me.

So, imagine my surprise and utter devastation when I had to witness said man woo and entice my girl while I had to entertain Tanya. In my heart I felt as though her presence hindered the night and made my situation all the more dire, but what could I do?

_I did manage at one point in the evening to escape Tanya's clutches. She was too preoccupied shaking her tush and flirting with the blonde haired, blue eyed waiter to notice my sudden absence. My eyes immediately searched out every nook and cranny looking for that enticing brunette and when I did…I wanted to kill the man behind the bar._

_There she stood, a few feet away from the jerk…salivating and watching his every move with lustful eyes. My feet moved without permission and before we both knew it, I had her and myself chest to chest, against a dark cornered wall._

_It took a lot from me to not molest her against said wall, while she moaned and writhed against me. _

_God I wanted to...every fiber of my being was in tune with her body and in the process of eating her alive. It almost killed me to stop, but Alice's interruption, and my nerves, got the better of me._

_Again…I ran and began to watch from afar. _

_The look on her face almost broke my resolve, but the tears that leaked as she spoke to her girls made me wish I was different...that I could be her everything._

_Tanya didn't understand my sudden need to vacate the premises...she didn't see what I caused and how embarrassed I felt. _

_She agreed after a few minutes of seeing my put together facade begin to crumble. I knew that I would have to explain at some point...knew she would pissed and not above kicking my ass._

_I deserved it..._

"He's not," she whispered while lying down on my chair, "doesn't matter though...this is my body...my decision."

I wanted to kiss her feet for not backing out. It was a dangerous game I played with her, but staying away from her and keeping a simple employee/employer relationship was killing me slowly.

"Are you ready Twinkle?"

"Yeah," she sighed and so I began.

"Bella, I know you wanted this on your shoulder, but can I make a suggestion," her wide brown eyes regarded me carefully, but her curiosity was just too big to not inquire into my thoughts.

"I think this would look beautiful on your side...from below the bust, to just above your hip bone...its not a small piece and the true beauty, to me, will shine in that particular placement."

"Hmmm...That could work, how many sessions we talking?"

"I'm thinking three, but I haven't worked you yet...I mean on you yet." How this woman flustered me. I could feel the heat of her gaze at my words...making my ears suddenly feel hot and my body begin to tremble.

"Plus, coloring always hurts the most and I don't want to overdo it with you...there's no hurry on my behalf...I just want the finished product to be something you love." I wanted to add that maybe she could love me too, by the end, but didn't want to scare her off or end this before we had a chance to start.

"Sounds like a plan...put the stencil on me first and let me see how it looks." Her cheeks bloomed and my once innocent thoughts went south.

Was she thinking of my hands on her or how close I would be to every hidden spot on her body I craved?

Slipping could be so easy where this woman was concerned.

"Okay," I obliged and began to wash my hands. "You know the deal… strip." She raised her perfect brow at my wording, but followed my directions. Slowly, oh so fucking slowly, she stripped herself of her shirt and lay down on my chair.

The way she stretched and curled into herself to get comfortable, reminded me of a lazy pussy cat.

Lithe, serene and beautiful was what she was.

Her bra was all lace and see through...nipples easily visible to my hungry eyes, yet not satisfying my hunger one bit.

I wanted her bare before me...not a barrier keeping me from the masterpiece she truly was.

"Beautiful" I said reverently and immediately regretted it as her hands came up to hide herself from me.

"Please don't...I'll behave...I promise, just please don't hide yourself from me," I begged and she surprised me by letting her hands fall.

"Don't make me regret this," she hoarsely said and I agreed. No more words were spoken as I shaved the fine hairs along her ribs or as I prepped her skin for the final placement.

The feel of her pliant flesh beneath my fingertips drove me wild with desire, but I remained the professional she had hired me to be.

She loved the look of the hands along her ribs and even hugged me after looking at herself in the mirror, not caring in the slightest that her upper torso was semi nude.

"Its perfect," she gushed and my solemn heart swelled.

"Not as much as the owner, but it compliments her beauty I believe." Her smile was blinding and the heat of her chest pressed against mine was exquisite.

We stayed locked in each other's arms for a few minutes...savoring the feel and heat, before crashing harshly back to reality.

Best three minutes of my life.

**See you next week!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry this is late…I've been working almost non stop on a new drabble I will be unleashing soon.**

**Light My Fire will be a firefighterward fic with a studentella thrown into his crazy world. He will be 36 while my dear sassy Bella will be 20. Be prepared for mild angst, UST, and loads of sexy fun… the first 20 chaps are done and with my team as we speak…I'm so excited!**

****Also, if you want a sneak peek at future chapters and juicy pics that go with the story, join me on Face Book…My name is Reyes Onethree-nine and the group is called Massy's Minions… come join my craziness and get you're extra fix of...RePeat and all my other stories.****

**To my team I love you more than chocolate!**

**Twilight isn't mine…. **

Chapter 12

Edward's POV

_You look so beautiful today__  
><em>_When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away__  
><em>_So I try to find the words that I could say__  
><em>_I know distance doesn't matter__  
><em>_But you feel so far away__  
><em>_And I can't lie__  
><em>_But everytime I leave my heart turns grey__  
><em>_And I, I wanna come back home to see your face tonight...__Cause I just can't take it__  
><em>_Another day without you with me__  
><em>_Is like a blade that cuts right through me__  
><em>_I can wait, I can wait forever__  
><em>_When you call my heart stops beating__  
><em>_When you're gone it won't stop bleeding__  
><em>_I can wait, I can wait forever..._

_I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan_

_Cont…_

With rosy tinged cheeks and a mega watt smile she vacated my warmth and climbed back up on my chair.

Perfection.

"You ready?" I asked while chuckling at her giddiness.

"Born ready," were her only words before I dove in and the buzzing began.

My gun, her soft skin and my hard cock all were begging to mark more than just her flesh…this was going to be more painful for me than it would be for her.

The ultimate challenge in control and denial of what I yearned for the most.

I wouldn't deny that I took advantage of her every slight moan and whimper as I traced the outline in black. Each time I swiped the excess ink off with my towel, my fingers would stretch out and my pinky would caress the underside of her breast softly.

She would begin squirming after each pass and once or twice she went as far as rubbing her thighs together looking for relief...never had I wanted to fuck someone so badly.

"Do you need a break?" I asked as the first thirty minutes flew by us. Her reply made me leak in my pants and my hand, not holding the gun, to harshly grab her exposed hip.

Squeezing hard, but it was all her fault...

"Oh god no...fuck no, don't stop Edward…please," she moaned and I lost it for a minute… or two or three.

My teeth bit into her hip bone and dug deep…she groaned and gasped with each second that passed. My tongue needed to taste her and taste her I did as I soothed the sting of my attack. Her breathing was labored at this point and I was barely holding in the growl fighting within my chest to be released.

Mine.

She tasted of sin...soft, velvety sin.

"Edward...Lionel, please," she begged for more or was it for me to stop?

Who cared...not me?

Reigning myself in wasn't easy, but had to be done.

"You want me to stop? Do you?" I spat and she couldn't answer...my grip on her still strong and causing her to lose herself to my touch.

Nice to know I affected her as much as she affected me.

"Take five, Bella," I commanded, but not before licking a path from her juicy hip bone to her adorable belly button. Her flesh pebbled... her hand found purchase in my hair and fisted, pushing me closer.

_Could never be close enough my love._

I could have fucked her if I so desired, but she was still with him and that wouldn't do. Grabbing her hands…I disentangled them from my hair and slowly pushed away. Her eyes were dilated; cheeks flushed... lips slightly open and pink.

Beautiful.

"We need a minute to collect ourselves...trust me Bella...I need to step away before I fuck you...right here, right now on my chair for everyone to hear and see."

"What if..." I had to stop her right there.

"Don't you fucking dare finish that sentence!" My tone was one of warning...I was on the very edge of insanity with no return in sight and one more word from those sweet lips, would cause me to snap.

My hands found themselves caging her in as our faces came mere inches from the others.

"You have Benny...lose him if you want me, but not before Bella. I won't have you regretting the moment we come together as one...lose him Twinkle and I'll make you mine."

Slowly backing away, I turned towards the exit and straight towards the back door. I needed to put some space between us and give the steel rod in my jeans the chance to deflate.

Dead puppies, old saggy titties and thinking of Benny naked did me in...I was finally flaccid. Pulling out a smoke from my pocket, I lit up, and let the smoke relax my tense posture.

Nicotine, my best friend… oh how I love thee.

I smoked two, back to back, before I could even begin to feel remotely in control of my faculties...once back inside, I headed towards Ally and asked her to run to the coffee shop for a much needed afternoon fix.

Something in my eyes must have spoken to hers, because what would usually become me begging on my knees, was met with acceptance and understanding.

"Take it easy, Lionel...it'll work out in the end," was all she said before walking away and out the door.

I hoped so... I really hoped so.

Once back at my station, I focused on the job and ignored every instinct within me to drown in those pools of chocolate warmth. My muscles were still tight and ready to attack, but luckily she behaved and kept silently to herself.

Every once in a while a soft moan could be heard as the needle dug deeper. Those little moments were torture. We stuck it out throughout the rest, not stopping or acknowledging a soul...we needed to get through this intact and we both fought tooth and nail in avoiding our natural instincts.

I knew she wanted me just like I wanted her, but every time we were close there was an ever present blinding force that kept us apart.

Insecurity on my behalf...fear on hers, mistrust in common and now, her current boyfriend.

Hopefully she would head my desires and lose him soon, because truly, with each caress that my gloved finger dealt...my resistance crumbled further and I didn't want our first time attached to anything reproachful.

The outline was complete and I was in the process of bandaging her reddened skin, when he walked in with food and a puppy dog look.

She seemed upset and annoyed by his mere presence, barely acknowledging him or his peace offering. I had to give it to him though…fucker was persistent!

Her eyes met mine for a short, yet intense, moment and we both silently agreed that it just wasn't our time.

But that was okay...they weren't going to last and when he was gone, I would swoop in like the tattooed Lion I was and make her mine. I could only pray by then I was ready to handle her and all that she offered.

**See you guys next week….**

**Massy**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N please read:**

**I must begin today by apologizing for the long wait…kiddos life has gotten hectic lately and I haven't had the time to write as much as before, but believe me when I say I won't stop. I also have had other bunnies dominating and not letting me focus…just please be patient with me.**

**I will promise though, that you will have an update every two weeks and that the next two are already pre-written and ready to be sent off to my team…see it won't be so bad!**

**Thank you once again for all the support with this and all my stories…I'm truly humbled by the love and appreciation you throw my way and please believe me when I say that I read and smile with every single review… your kindness and enthusiasm make all the long night that I'm still awake at 4am worth it.**

**To my team…I love you and I only wish I could do for you what you do for me.**

**Twilight isn't mine…**

Bella's POV

_Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear__  
><em>_And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear__  
><em>_Take the wheel and steer__  
><em>_It's driven me before__  
><em>_And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal__  
><em>_But lately I'm beginning to find that I__  
><em>_Should be the one behind the wheel__Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there__  
><em>_With open arms and open eyes yeah__Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there__  
><em>_I'll be there__So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive__  
><em>_Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive?__  
><em>_It's driven me before__  
><em>_And it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around__  
><em>_But lately I'm beginning to find that__  
><em>_When I drive myself my light is found__Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there__  
><em>_With open arms and open eyes yeah_

_Drive by Incubus_

"Why are you here?"

He looked genuinely perplexed and surprised by my question…seriously?

He quickly attempted to wrap me up in one of his big and strong arms the moment Edward stepped out, but that wasn't going to work right now...sorry buddy.

"Again Benny, why are you here?" My bitch brow was back in full force and he actually had the intelligence to look a bit sheepish.

"Bella, please...I don't like arguing with you or being mad. I get it. My reaction was barbaric and something you don't appreciate...it won't happen again, gorgeous." His warm eyes pled with mine to understand…to just forget.

It took a lot of groveling on his behalf, and some persistent whining, to get me to at least attempt to put this whole incident behind us.

That night we sequestered ourselves in my office and avoided everything and everyone other than us. He explained his concerns over my defensiveness and I was completely honest with him.

I told Benny of my feelings toward Edward and how his indifference in the past had made me walk away. Explained in great detail the night we met and what transpired between me and Edward. How the last interaction became the catalyst for my eyes to finally open and how it had given me the strength to somewhat walk away.

I made it clear that since the moment he and I had begun, I had avoided Edward and how this was the first time we had been alone or in the same room in months.

"Look Benny...I'm not telling you this to hurt you or because I'm a raging bitch...no! Honesty is important to me and non negotiable…I owe you the same as I would expect, no sugar coating. He meant...means a lot to me, but I don't think we will ever be more than what we are now, and I can honestly live with that."

"Do you love him?" he asked…voice hoarse and eyes sad.

"A part of me does...I won't deny it, but I care for you, too, and would like to see where this goes...if you want to that is?" His eyes stayed trained on mine, trying to catch some deceit or uncertainty on my behalf. He found none because there was none.

While my heart still yearned for that nerdy boy in suspenders and glasses...he scared me. Sure, we were explosive when in the same room and our bodies naturally gravitated towards the other, but that's all I saw in him.

Lust…not the love I was sure reflected in mine.

I wanted more at this stage in my life...plus as much as he complained about Benny in my life, his Tanya was always lurking in his shadows.

Over the last six months she had infiltrated my space and made herself quite comfortable amongst our staff. Constantly showing up with treats, coffee, or spewing all the gossip she had acquired from the beauty salon across the street.

Rose and Ally had taken a small liking to her, much to my dismay.

Emmett, Demmy and Jazz found her obnoxiously entertaining and I found her creepily endearing. She tried to befriend me all the time, but I wouldn't relent like the others...it would have been like accepting your mortal enemy and loving them.

It was just wrong.

_"Bella, she's nice," Demmy would say while trying to get me to change my stance._

_"She really likes you Twinkle...give her a shot," Shaggy would add in while the others nodded and smiled wide...traitors._

Well maybe not the girls…they were kind of like mini Judas'.

It wasn't until Lionel cornered me a few weeks ago; asking me to give her a shot...that I relented and began a civil relationship with her. I didn't and would never go out of my way for her, but I smiled and encouraged her gossiping habits with a fake 'oh my god,' or a gasping 'no shit' to make her feel accepted.

She thought we were going to be the best of friends...someone please...anyone, gag me with a spoon.

I could hear the lot of them outside, talking and high fiving Rose for not getting arrested. I gave the bitch credit...she didn't hit an old lady, that definitely deserved a bronze medal.

Jasper and Ally were laughing and most likely wrapped up in the each other's arms.

Emmett gushed over his woman and how the cops had given him props for landing a hot little lady.

And finally, I heard the squeal of excitement come from the Barbie known as Tanya and Edward's laugh at her every reaction. You could hear it in his voice, that he cared for her, and I doubted he would want to hurt her.

So why ask me to leave Benny?

Would he leave her?

Doubt it…

"Lets leave this conversation for tonight gorgeous...you have to be tired and sore. I still want to be with you, but things need to be hashed out and laid on the table...do you agree?"

Do I?

_"Come on Tan...lets hit that sushi place over on John Young and then watch a movie at my place." My gorgeous Lionel offered, causing my heart to stop._

_"Shit, I would kill for their California rolls right now...place the order and I'll stop at a Red Box and get something we can snuggle in and watch."_

_"Sounds like a plan...see you guys later." _Every one said their goodnights and vacated the premises…leaving me to deal with the possibility of another ruptured relationship.

Guess that was my answer, he goes back to her as if nothing ever happened or as if I didn't matter… while I was willing to let this possibility with Benny go if he had truly wanted more.

Letting out a heavy sigh, I looked up and into Benny's sad eyes...he'd heard what I heard and saw the plethora of emotions run across my face.

Sadness.

Heartache.

Anger.

Acceptance.

"Maybe we should end this Benny...I don't want to hurt you."

"No."

"No?"

"I will make you forget, gorgeous...I want to be with you and see where this amazing thing between us goes. Give me a chance...let me love you." Smile sincere and arms opened was what he offered and I accepted…I deserved to be loved.

**See you next update!**

**Massy **


	15. Chapter 15

**Wow you guys seriously want to kill the poor boy…I love it! Just remember that everything and I do mean everything, I write in this story has a purpose and not everything is as it seems. He will get it through his thick skull…eventually, but it will take time. This story is a slow burn and with good reason. The boy needs to grow a backbone and some balls…that takes time, no over night success story here or miracle.**

**Twilight isn't mine…**

CHAPTER 14

Bella'S POV

Song for chapter

_Somewhere there's speaking__  
><em>_It's already coming in__  
><em>_Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind__  
><em>_You never could get it__  
><em>_Unless you were fed it__  
><em>_Now you're here and you don't know why___

_But under skinned knees and the skid marks__  
><em>_Past the places where you used to learn__  
><em>_You howl and listen__  
><em>_Listen and wait for the__  
><em>_Echoes of angels who won't return___

_[Chorus]__  
><em>_He's everything you want__  
><em>_He's everything you need__  
><em>_He's everything inside of you__  
><em>_That you wish you could be__  
><em>_He says all the right things__  
><em>_At exactly the right time__  
><em>_But he means nothing to you__  
><em>_And you don't know why___

_You're waiting for someone__  
><em>_To put you together__  
><em>_You're waiting for someone to push you away__  
><em>_There's always another wound to discover__  
><em>_There's always something more you wish he'd say_

_Everything you want by Vertical Horizon_

That night I followed Benny home and even though the angel and devil perched on my shoulders kept repeating that this was wrong…that he wasn't the right person, I pushed on forward and let myself be loved.

Things weren't sexual between us as of yet, not for his lack of trying, but because I couldn't. My body craved Benny's touch and soft whispered words of desire as he kissed me and caressed whatever exposed flesh he could find. Lord knows that I had attempted on numerous occasions to love him back…physically, but it was always the wrong tone of voice or un-calloused fingers that made me tense and pull back… away from everything he offered.

Damn you, Lionel.

He was always so understanding and willing to let me lead the physical aspects of our relationship, but I could always tell that at the end, I was hurting him… I didn't want to, but how was I supposed to tell my soul to forget Lionel and move on?

Stupidly I had made myself believe that allowing Benny to touch and feel me that way was… wrong.

He was patient and comforting.

Welcoming and understanding.

I didn't deserve him at all.

As soon as we parked our cars, he was rushing to my door and enveloping me in his warmth… always one step ahead of what I needed. We walked in through his door hand in hand and leaning into each other. His words were gentle and scared, my heart broke…I had done that to him.

"I'm so sorry, B…I never meant to hurt you." My hands reached his face and pulled him into a soft kiss. His lips returned the kiss with so much fervor and…love.

"Don't," he mumbled against my lips, "I knew your heart belonged to another the day I saw you standing alone, in my club, with a look of pure sadness upon your gorgeous face. I knew that I would have my work cut out for me…I took that chance and don't regret it…not one bit, beautiful."

Tears leaked down my cheek and he wiped them off… always taking care of me.

"Let's go to bed…we'll sort this out in the morning." He had such a tender smile on his face. I wasn't sure if staying would have been the best choice for me at the moment, as all I was prepared to do tonight was talk, but with that face and with how patient he'd been, how could I say no?

"Okay?"

"Yes…I'll stay."

"Good."

"Good."

I was suddenly being swept off my feet and carried off bridal style into his bedroom. I giggled as the hand holding me touched a spot by my ribs in which I was extremely ticklish, this in turn caused him to chuckle… the tension previously burying us was broken… lifted.

The once dark room that was suffocating us with everything unsaid became bright, airy and light.

When he walked into the room I wiggled in his arms, ready to be put down, but he refused with a small shake of his head and pout on his lips…

I relented, not wanting to take away all the calm and peace we had found after I giggled.

My feet hit the warm marble floors in his bathroom only when he deemed fit and even that was only after he stole a few chaste kisses from me. My clothing was removed from my still slightly tense frame, slowly, and with so much reverence… I choked up.

My inflamed flesh attended to with soft caresses and love.

His clothing stayed on while he attended to what my soul craved.

The respect and self control he showed always made me feel safe within his presence; because I knew that if I truly let him in, I would be treated right and worshiped…he could easily become the prince to this tattooed princess.

Making sure my bandage was on correctly and hadn't moved while the evening progressed. My face lovingly wiped off of any traces of make-up I had left… the raccoon eyes I was surely sporting after the emotional roller-coaster of a day I had just survived taken away and dumped into the trash on the facial wipes he kept handy just for me.

I felt horrible.

Horrible because while his touch and soothing voice put my mind at ease, my heart still fought holding onto what it should have released already.

My eyes sought out his, trying to get a read on where his mind lay, but what I saw was nothing but devotion and affection. I wasn't ready for so much from him and so soon… how did I stay if my heart belonged to another, but how could I walk away and cause someone innocent and loving the pain Lionel inflicted on me?

"Stop thinking so hard beautiful…we'll be okay. Today has been rough, yes, but what's important is that you are here with me and trying to work it out. That's all I can ask, baby…just let me love you and win you over."

Honest eyes… hopeful smile… warm heart.

How the hell could I turn that down?

"Don't answer me now…sleep on it and we can talk in the morning after breakfast…okay?" My head nodded without so much as asking me if it was okay, but really, what else could I have said.

There he stood in all his glory… open and letting me in without so much as a second thought.

He'd been good to me and had kept any comments about Lionel and his involvement in my life to himself until yesterday. He never complained about me doing work on men that hit on me or tried to push into my life. He was always polite to my friends and had even won them over… especially Bratz and Ally.

He was successful and normally a happy person, what the fuck else could I ask for?

"I want to try, B…I want to try," I blurted out and froze.

His smile was wide and full of sunshine thawing out my still form.

"So do I, but I won't hold you to that confession till tomorrow. Get some sleep and talk with me after we awake… then tell me you want me, but not while your still emotional or because you think that is what I want to hear."

"But…" His finger covered my lips and his head shook.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," I agreed after seeing the need to put this to rest for now in his eyes. His large yet gentle hands pulled me across his bathroom and back into his room. Quietly he pulled back the covers and let me slip in, coming in behind me and throwing his arm over my stomach and snuggling into my back. His hands avoided touching the area still stinging from the needle it had endured a mere four hours before…always so gentle with me.

"Goodnight beautiful," he whispered into my hair before leaving a tiny kiss on my head.

Turning my head toward him, I kissed his jaw and whispered 'goodnight' back.

Hoping that my tomorrow wouldn't be as bad as my today.

**BTW while she is with Benny and they are in a relationship…I will not be writing lemons for these two…I just can't.**

**See you guys in two weeks…**


	16. Chapter 16

**Please read: After much consideration and talks with my team, I have decided to put this story on temporary hiatus. *ducks from flying keyboards* I'm sorry everyone, but writing this story has become a chore and honestly pulling teeth. My last few attempts have been quite atrocious and I refuse to give you something I see as garbage. I have hopes that both Twinkle and Lionel will begin talking to me soon, because I have huge plans for these two, but without their cooperation and my desire to actually write it…it won't happen. **

**I do promise not to keep everyone waiting to long and when I come back it will be with a bang…just have some patience and faith in me.**

**Thank You all,**

**Massy/reyes139**

Chapter 15

Bella's POV

Song for chapter

Push by Matchbox Twenty

The following morning we spent two hours discussing and analyzing on my behalf. Sure, I claimed just hours earlier to be completely secure in my decision to continue, but now in the light of day, I had…doubts.

I doubted my ability to stop loving Lionel.

My ability to fall completely head over heels in love with Benny.

My ability to stay strong and not fall under Lionel's web any longer… that last one was certainly easier said than done.

So far his arguments were solid, while mine were empty and desperate.

"Bella…gorgeous, be honest with me here…do you honestly believe he holds no feelings towards you?" I nodded, throat too constricted by emotions to truly voice what I knew he felt. Edward didn't care…didn't love me.

"So if he doesn't love you as you claim, than why are you holding back…why hold onto something impossible?"

"Because I'm scared." His once guarded eyes softened at my admission.

"What are you afraid of gorgeous? Me? Or what you could one day feel for me?"

"Both."

"Bella, I could never or would never hurt you intentionally…fuck…woman, I love you!"

I stood there transfixed by his admission… what do you say to someone after they lay their heart out on the floor in front of you? What do you say when your feelings aren't the same and you don't want to hurt them any further than you have?

My own heart ache must have been written on my face because he smiled a gentle smile and pulled me into his arms. "I didn't say it to force you to return or pretend babe…I just wanted you to know and see that you are lovable. You are beautiful, smart, caring, successful, and funny…how could I not fall for you?"

"Thank you for being honest with me," I whispered against the skin of his neck, "thank you for being so understanding and thank you for loving me."

"Shush woman… just let me feel you here in my arms and pretend the last 24 hours never happened… that we never fought and not that this might be the last time I get to hold you like this."

We stayed locked into our embrace for what felt like hours. Gently swaying back and forth and hashing out what our next steps would be. He needed the extra comfort from my hug and I needed his warmth.

Mutually we decided to continue as we were… we would continue being together, but with the addition of taking it even slower than what we had been.

He wanted the chance to win me over… I would grant him that.

He wanted to show me how I deserved to be treated… I would appreciate that.

He wanted to get along with Edward and prove that he trusted me… I was scared.

Lionel held me like a puppet on strings most of the time; I couldn't continue hurting this beautiful man… he didn't deserve it. I argued that, but once again I was shot down, told that he knew I would never do anything to purposely hurt him and as such, had his trust.

"I want him to finish your tattoo," he said as we made our way to his bedroom to get changed. My body froze and my incredulous eyes locked with his… was he insane?

Setting me up to fail?

"Stop looking at me like that, Isabella." _Why am I getting first named?_ "Baby, I'll be right there… in the room with you. You were so excited with the design yesterday and what had been done so far, it wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to change artists now. I know Demm, Shaggy and Chuckles would be excited to take it on and add their own flair to it, but that's not what you want…I won't go back on my word and choose when to trust you."

"Thank you," I choked and leaned forward to chastely kiss his lips.

At first he hesitated and my heart seized at his rejection after just hours prior confessing his love…I should have known better. His arms wrapped around my body, hands running up my back until his fingers were imbedded in my hair and my body pulled tightly to his.

His eyes bored into mine.

My hands found purchase on his face and gently pulled him to me.

The kiss was soft…reverent and sweet.

Lips tenderly touching and exploring as if it were our first time, hands gently tugging us closer to the other… even though there was no space spared between our frames.

My heart soaring and surprising me with how free it felt.

He felt good.

"You feel that don't you?" he whispered against my lips. "Feel how good and right it feels?"

"Why?"

"Why do you feel that lightness and freeing feeling when we're like this? Because you know deep down that I couldn't hurt you and that I care… because you know that I'm here standing before you with my heart at your disposal and because I love you and I won't stop showing you that I do."

"Good morning Twinkle," everyone said in a united voice as I entered the shop. Well, everyone but Lionel, he remained with his eyes transfixed on my hand placed in Benny's… on our united front.

"Hey Edward," I called out to him before he could escape me and negate to do my tat, "I'm ready to begin when you are." His whole demeanor trembled with an unknown rage and look of incredulity… what the fuck was his problem now?

Shouldn't he be happy, after all, he had Tanya to go home to like he did the night before.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," he spat with venom. "Do you really believe that after what happened yesterday… what we both admitted…" he trailed off.

"What happened…huh?"

"You said you wanted me… that you would get rid of him!" His voice was slowly raising to the heavens… our bodies gravitating towards the other.

"Really? Because if memory serves me correct, you left with _her_…not me."

"What the fuck are you talking about…who?"

"Tanya, you insensitive prick!"

"Tanya?" His incredulous laugh bellowed throughout the small enclosed corridor we now found ourselves in.

"Tanya…Jesus…Tanya." Was this idiot now making fun of me?

"What part of her or her name is confusing and amusing at the same time… because I didn't find it entertaining to hear and see you leave with _her_," I sneered.

"Twinkle no, babe…it's not wha…" He stopped and his eyes narrowed to whoever stood behind me now and with the fire and hate eating up those incredibly debilitating eyes, I knew who it was before he even uttered a single syllable.

"Ready to begin, gorgeous?" Benny interrupted and thank god just in time.

"Are we?" I challenged my irritated employee.

"Yeah, we're ready to go…give me five and I'm all yours Twinkle…all yours."

Fuck me.

Within minutes I was once again at Edward's mercy as his needle, gun and lust swallowed me whole. Every swipe of his rag was met with my traitorous body's reaction to him.

Goosebumps.

Shudders.

A sigh.

You name it…I had it.

"You can't keep on denying me, Twinkle," he whispered, "I'll bide my time for now because you seem happy and that's all that matters, but one mistake…one fuck up… and I'll be all over you, sweeping you away from a man that will never be right for you."

"What the hell would you know about whats right for me? You push me aside every time, never caring about me or my feelings!"

"That's not true Bella," he began but I cut him off… I couldn't deal with his words…sweet or not, they were killing me.

"It is true and you know it… what the fuck are you so afraid of?"

His lips opened and shut… opened and shut various times, but nothing came out. I could literally see those walls being put back up in their previous place and him beginning to shut me out.

"Lionel, look at me," his eyes met mine and I smiled, "When you think you're ready to answer that question…come talk to me, but until then, don't start something you could never finish."

After that we went back to silence.

The sessions it took to finish my tattoo were painful in the 'I love him but could never have him' sort of way. Benny got his as well while I was in Edward's chair. Demm took on my design, adding a small twist of his own and finishing it in time for our special second first date.

It was nice to be loved, even if the person returning the feeling was not the one you dreamed of every night.

**Okay a quick recap of timing in this story.**

**Edward shows up at her door when she returns from her mystery date six years into their first meeting. He asks for another chance a repeat…wanting to make things right.**

**A year into the shops success they have a BBQ on the beach for both employees and clients.**

**Edward hangs with Jane, who is his brother James girl…confusion, a chicken toss and a fight, ensues with both parties hurt.**

**Next day the girls go out and Edward is at the same club, the club that is owned by her future love interest Benny. They have an intense encounter and once again he storms away…letting his fear dominate his actions.**

**Benny and Bella begin to see each other and at the 6 month mark of their relationship decide to get tattoos together. Edward designs Bella's and seduces her into hi s chair, only to once again after making her forget her commitment to Benny, walks away with plans to entertain Tanya.**

**Who is Tanya? You'll just have to keep guessing for now.**

**We are at the two and a half year mark and when I come back there will be a time jump…with some major changes coming Bella's way.**

**See you guys soon…I hope.**


	17. Chapter 17

**I have been hard at work this week writing my piece for the StandUp4Katalina compilation. It will be an outtake that Kroseph herself for RePeat and will be titled... Take Two. I managed to write the whole thing on my nook while in b****ed recuperating last week and I have divulged quite a bit in this piece. Two secrets are going to be revealed, first one: who is Tanya and what's her role in all this mess and finally the nick name he has chosen for her.**

**Please guys, let's reach deep into those pockets and donate… it truly is for such a worthy cause and to make our dear friend Katalina's wish a great success. To read this piece, and over a hundred more from various writers we all love and cherish all you have to do is go to the website listed below and give a little bit, that money will help fund research that could someday save millions of lives.**

**I will state now that this piece will NEVER be posted on Fanfic as this is solely for Kroseph and those who help. It's my gift to her :) remove spaces.**

**Katalina . fandomcause . info**

**Here is your official teaser for: Take Two**

Lionel's POV

For the last two years I've sat back and bided my time, watched him woo her ... love her only as a man foolishly head over heels could, and all of this with the returning hope that someday, she would learn to love him back with just a smidge of his own intensity. It's a sad reality, the one in which he blindly resides. But it's his own hands which led him there; he chose to pursue her even after knowing that she longed for the love and dedication of someone else.

My heart actually aches for his, as I too once stood where he stands now, the only difference between_ him_ and_ I_ is that_ I_ let my own issues negate what was plain for me to see … that she too loved me and desired only my touch. I feel for him because no matter what he did or will do, that day will never come. He has been close ... scarily close at times, but all it would take was one look my way and those feelings would evaporate and be forgotten before they could grow and cultivate into something that would make Benny the happiest man in the world and I the loneliest.

I won't sit here and deny that he would have made my Bella a very happy woman, his immense love for her making him strive to give her all that she has ever dreamt of and more ... marriage, kids, and a faithful, loving companion.

I do believe she would have accepted him at some point ... given in to his persistent ways and maybe even lived a semi-happy life, but would she have truly been happy by his side when her heart lay with another?

No, and all of this because he would simply never be me.

No matter what he would have done to gain her affection, my memory would still be there in the shadows of her heart, body, and soul ... hunting and ravaging her thoughts.


End file.
